


Breathe in Me a Living Soul

by Elerrina174



Series: Thedas Fairy Tales [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute, Dalish Elves, Demons, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Innocence, Little Mermaid Elements, Love, Love Confessions, Lyrium Withdrawal, MGiT, Modern Girl in Thedas, Muteness, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Spirits, True Love, True Love's Kiss, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:36:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15489072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elerrina174/pseuds/Elerrina174
Summary: When Sara dies in a car accident she is surprised to find that the after life is nothing but the fade. She's trapped there until she passes through a hole into Thedas where she meets a tortured young Templar. Unable to get him out of her mind with an almost love at first sight feeling she makes a deal with a desire demon to be made human again, or so she thinks. She has one year until midnight on the last day to find true love and get true love's kiss. But it's never that simple, is it?A Thedas retelling of The Little Mermaid





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a new area for me as I've never written a fic based on a fairy tale before but I just couldn't get this idea out of my head until I wrote it. I hope you enjoy the story! Comments and kudos appreciated!

The afterlife was never quite what Sara had imagined. She hadn't really conformed to any one religion or idea while she was alive but she had thought that at least one of them had to be right, but that was not the case at all. The afterlife was nothing like anyone on Earth had ever imagined. There was no heaven or hell, no purgatory, no reincarnation. Only the fade, the never-ending, ever-changing fade. Or at least that was what some of the spirits there called it. Well, the ones she could get to speak to her anyway.

The fade was a very confusing place. Sara had been there for what felt like an eternity. Ever since she had died in a car accident when she was twenty-two the fade had been her home. Time didn't exist in the fade so Sara had no way of telling how long she had been there. She knew it was longer than some other spirits, however. She had seen some souls come and go and other spirits had been in the fade long before she had arrived. She couldn't tell why some left while others stayed. She didn't know where the ones that left actually went but she imagined anywhere would be better than the fade.

The fade was ruled by demons of all kinds. Savage animalistic beings that represented the worst in people. They controlled and fed on the other spirits there and would torment any dreaming visitors they could. Sara always avoided the demons and other spirits in general. And she never went near the dreaming people that would visit the fade. She had seen what could happen to spirits and demons alike that wandered too close or interacted with the wrong dreamers.

Sara roamed the fade aimlessly. She had nothing to do and nowhere to go. She was dead and the fade was a terrible way to spend eternity. She was determined to find some way to get out or at least move onto wherever the other souls ended up.

During her wanderings, she stumbled upon a disturbance in the fade. She wasn't the only one drawn to it as she watched demons pass through the opening. She could see something on the other side. A way out. Whatever she saw on the other side of the opening was not the fade and that was good enough for her. She moved forward and passed through the hole with ease. Which surprised her as she had watched a couple of other spirits try to make it through but they hadn't been able to cross over. Once she landed on the other side she immediately regretted her decision. Where she had ended up was not better than the fade. Somehow it was worse.

She was surrounded by stone walls in a room that smelled of blood and death. The air tingled with an unfamiliar feeling and she could hear people screaming. The scene in front of her was a horrific sight. The dead laid in piles around the room and the floor was stained with blood. There were people who appeared to be conducting some sort of ritual in the middle of the room. Sara skirted around the edge of the room to avoid detection as she watched the people in the middle.

They had created a hole into the fade. They were calling demons from the fade into their world and some of these demons were possessing the alive and dead alike. That's why they had all been attracted to the opening. Now she knew where all of the demons had gone. She scanned her eyes over the room. She saw no other souls like her. Why had she been the only one that could cross over?

Sara snuck quietly along the edge of the room until she found a door that led out. She passed through the door and down the stairs in front of it. But this room was no better. There she found a desire demon stalking around a purple glowing cage that contained a young man. He appeared to be dazed and terrified. His eyes were sunken and bloodshot, his lips were cracked, and there was dried blood on his clothes. He looked broken, like the demon had sucked the very life from him. He wasn't watching the demon but the demon was watching him with a malicious grin on its face. The man's eyes looked past the demon however, to something that only he could see. It was obvious he was being tortured and Sara was determined to put an end to it one way or another.

Without any more hesitation, she got in front of the demon and pushed it away from the man. This seemed to slightly jostle the man out of his dazed state and he began to look around in confusion. Sara put herself between the demon and the man in an attempt to shield him from any further harm. She wasn't afraid, she was a soul, a spirit, the demon couldn't hurt her, not here anyway.

“What do you think you're doing?!” The desire demon hissed at her.

“Stopping you! You won't hurt him anymore, not while I'm here!” She replied angrily.

The demon howled with rage and slashed at her with its claws but they did her no harm.

“You're a soul?!” The demon drew back in surprise. “How? You can't be here!”

“Well I am and I'm not letting you hurt him!” She retorted, glaring harshly at the demon.

The demon returned the hard stare but began to slowly move away from her. “Fine, I'll leave him alone for now, but once you're gone he will be mine again.” And with that, the demon disappeared into the shadows.

Sara watched the desire demon go and once she was sure it was gone she turned to the man still on his knees behind her.

“Are you alright?” She sat down in front of him so she could look him in the eyes while they spoke.

But he just looked at the ground with glazed over eyes, his mouth hanging open slightly. Sara examined him carefully. He looked awful and extremely tired.

“Wait here.” She heard herself telling him, but it wasn't like he could go anywhere even if he wanted to with the glowing cage still in place.

She passed through the cage surrounding him with ease as it no effect on her. She then began to look around for something for the man to drink. However, wherever they were was trashed, so finding a pitcher of water was going to be a harder task than she originally thought. She scoured every room she could until she found an untouched pitcher of water and an only slightly chipped glass. She poured him a drink and carried it back carefully.

“Here, drink this.” She placed the glass full of cool water into his shaky hands. She watched as he slowly brought it to his lips and swallowed a couple of mouthfuls.

“Are you real?” He finally asked bringing his glassy amber eyes up to meet hers.

“I guess that would be a matter of perspective. I'm as real as you need me to be, but that's not important.” She took the now empty glass and placed it on the stone floor beside them. “You look exhausted and you need to sleep.”

He huffed out a breath, “I could never sleep. Not here, not after what I have seen.” He scoffed weakly.

“You have to try.” She positioned herself next to him on her knees. “Here, lay your head on my lap.” He gave her an uncertain look. “I won't hurt you and neither will that desire demon, not as long as I'm here.”

After a little hesitation, he finally laid his head on her lap. Sara gently stroked the side of his face and his sweat-soaked blonde curls. She could feel him trembling under her touch and wondered what exactly he had seen.

“I'm going to sing you a lullaby that my mom used to sing to me when I was little.” She cleared her throat before beginning.

 _Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly_  
_Lavender’s green_  
_When I am king, dilly dilly_  
_You shall be queen_

 _Who told you so, dilly dilly_  
_Who told you so_  
_'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly_  
_That told me so_

 _Call up your men, dilly dilly_  
_Set them to work_  
_Some to the plow, dilly dilly_  
_Some to the fork_

 _Some to make hay, dilly dilly_  
_Some to cut corn_  
_While you and I, dilly dilly_  
_Keep ourselves warm_

As she sang she continued to gently stroke his hair. His breathing had slowed and she could hear him softly snoring, he was asleep. Her fingers brushed over the rough stubble along his jaw. She watched his face as he slept on her lap. She could tell he was young by how smooth his golden skin was. The back of her hand glided across his cheek as she examined his handsome face.

She watched the desire demon stalk by the cage, glaring wickedly at them as it went. Sara stared right back, daring it to come anywhere near them. It just walk by however, seemingly content to leave them in peace for the moment. She knew eventually it would be back. She couldn't protect the man forever and she feared what would happen when she left.


	2. Chapter 2

Sara didn't know how long it had been since she had seen the young man in the glowing purple cage but she couldn't get him out of her mind. Time didn't exist in the fade and she had a feeling it had been a lot longer in the real world than she thought. The fade seemed less forgiving now that she knew he was out there. She didn't even know his name and yet she couldn't stop thinking about him. She felt like she was back in high school again with a schoolgirl crush.

Sara had never really believed in love at first sight but with how infatuated she was becoming with this man she was starting to change her mind. She knew nothing about him and yet he consumed her thoughts. She knew it was ridiculous. Who was she kidding, she was a soul and he was a human. There was no way they could ever be together and besides, they didn't even know each other, maybe they weren't even compatible. She decided to chalk it up to the fact that she had been trapped in the fade for who knows how long and he was the first human she had seen and talked to when she finally got out. That and he had also been quite handsome even in his condition. And yet she couldn't keep him from invading her thoughts, but it wasn't like she had much else to think about.

“I could help you.”

Sara was jerked from her thoughts by an unnervingly melodic voice. She looked up from the ground to find a desire demon looking at her with a sly smile on its face. _Fade must have changed again she thought, or I wandered too far from my usual path._

“I don't want any help you could offer, thanks.” She retorted quickly before turning to leave.

“A tormented dashing young Templar trapped in a cage. You wouldn't even want help with that?” The demon said from behind her.

“What did you say?” Sara turned back toward the demon.

“I can help you with that.” The demon offered as it moved closer.

“You can't do anything about that.” Sara scoffed in response.

“He comes to visit me you know. Or more like I visit him in his dreams.” It smirked.

“You leave him alone.” Sara jabbed a finger at the demon threateningly.

“He even hums that song you sang to him.”

“That was you?” She asked in disbelief.

“You know at first I was mad that you interfered but then I had a change of heart. You two just looked so cute and I can see how much you care for him. So I thought I would make you an offer.”

“What kind of offer?” She knew that whatever it was it wouldn't be fair and would most likely be a trap but she couldn't resist asking.

“Well, since it seems you have an aptitude for being able to leave the fade I'll tell you what. You find a way to pass back into the world and I'll make you real again. I'll give you one year until midnight on the final day to find this dashing young Templar, fall in love and get true love's kiss. If you do I'll never bother you again and you can start over with a whole new life. But if you don't you're mine forever. You come back to the fade and you never leave again, I can do with you as I please. That's my offer, take it or leave it.”

“What's the catch?” Sara asked in suspicion.

“No catch,” the demon replied innocently.

“How are you going to make me human again?”

“I have my ways, but that's for me to worry about. All you have to do is find a way out of the fade and back into the world.”

Sara thought for a moment. She knew this was a terrible idea. The desire demon couldn't be trusted, no matter what it said she knew this wouldn't be a fair deal. On the other hand, what did she have to lose? If she didn't take the deal she had no chance of ever escaping the fade. And a small chance even if it was rigged was better than no chance. If she failed at least she would have spent a year out of the fade.

“Fine,” she finally said looking the desire demon in the eyes. “Deal.”

The demon smiled widely, “You won't regret this.”

However, little did it know Sara was already regretting her decision. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she just couldn't shake.

To her surprise, it didn't take long for her to find an opening back to the real world. Holes had been popping up all over the fade recently. As usual, only the demons could pass through but Sara hoped she was still an exception.

She found a hole that was void of any demons and stepped toward it. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the desire demon watching her from a good distance away. Steadying herself she took a deep breath and stepped into the hole.

Sara landed with a gentle thud on the ground on the other side. There was a sound when she landed which meant she had weight. That could only mean one thing, she had a corporeal body. The demon had at least held up that much of their deal.

She began to look around at her surroundings. Beneath her feet was lush green grass that tickled her toes as she wiggled them in the fresh damp dirt. Sara tilted her head upward and felt her hair fall down her back as she examined the forest above her. The trees were a couple of houses tall stretching toward the clear blue sky above them that could just barely be seen peeking through the breaks in the rustling leaves. The golden sunbeams flickered through the leaves high above her to paint the ground around her like a kaleidoscope.

A smile spread across her face as she twirled in the warmth of the light. Birdsong rang out above her, different melodies all mixing together to create one single glorious song. The moss beneath her feet was soft and pillow-like as it gave with every step she took, little droplets of water seeping out and coating her feet. Sara could feel the breeze brushing the hair away from her face. The forest smelled of earth, clean and fresh like green life and damp dirt. The air was warm, the little bit of sunlight that filtered through the leaves above having heated it throughout the day while the ground was still cool beneath her feet. Even if she didn't find the man, this alone was worth it, she was finally free from the fade.

The soft sound of water murmuring nearby could just be heard over the singing of the birds. Sara followed the noise until she came across a river. It was narrow but deep and slow moving. She followed it's winding path through the forest with her eyes. The river’s banks were green with tall marsh grasses before they sloped gently away into rocks and dirt where the water obviously rose to when it rained. Sara watched the sunlight dance on the surface of the calm waters as she drew nearer to the edge. She leaned over the water's surface and was surprised by what she saw.

Her ears were pointy! She twisted her head to the side to get a better look as she tucked her new blonde hair out of the way. On either side of her head were large pointed ears. She looked like an elf. Suddenly it dawned on her. Her slight form, large eyes, pointy ears, she didn't just look like an elf, she was an elf! The demon hadn't turned her into a human, it had turned her into an elf.

She opened her mouth to make some sort of exclamation of surprise and dismay but no sound came out. So she tried again, still nothing. Sara took in a deep breath and tried to scream at the top of her lungs but she couldn't. No matter what she did she couldn't speak, she had no voice. Not only had the demon turned her into an elf instead of a human but it had taken her voice as well.

Sara was furious, how was she supposed to get anything done with no voice. She whirled around her face red from anger, but she immediately stopped dead in her tracks. Behind her in the woods was another elf. She was watching Sara curiously through the leaves in front of her face. How was Sara supposed to introduce herself when she couldn't even speak. She cringed internally as she turned to face the other elf, she hoped this went better than her deal with the demon.


	3. Chapter 3

When the other elf realized Sara had spotted her she stepped out of the cover she had been hiding in. _Well, here goes_ , Sara thought as she took a deep breath before holding up her hand in greeting and smiling at the other elf. The elf looked similar to her, slim form, slightly large eyes, and pointed ears. She was about the same height as Sara but she had long dark brown hair that was half up in braids and a face tattoo of what looked almost like flowers over one eye.

The elf looked at her curiously before returning a small smile. “Aneth ara.”

Sara cocked her head at this, she didn't know what the elf had said. She didn't even know what language the elf was speaking. She had already figured out that she wasn't on earth, so she wasn't particularly surprised by this.

The elf took a step towards her and examined her more closely. “You don't have a vallaslin but you're dressed like a Dalish. How old are you? Are you not of age yet? You look old enough.”

Now _that_ Sara could understand. The elf spoke in perfect English if not with a bit of an accent and with a couple of confusing words thrown into the mix. She smiled her acknowledgment and flashed two fingers at the elf twice.

“Twenty- two,” she scrunched her eyebrows together at this, “What, can you not speak?”Sara shook her head no.“Oh, sorry I didn't know. Are you even Dalish?”

Sara shrugged, she didn't even know what that word meant.

“You don't know? Do you know where you are?” Again Sara shook her head no. “Well my clan, clan Lavellan, is camped pretty close to here. You can come back with me if you'd like. It's not safe to be out alone in these woods at night.” She motioned for Sara to join her as she began walking back through the woods. “My name is Eredil by the way. I would ask you yours but I guess you couldn't tell me. Do you mind if I give you a name?”

Sara shook her head, she wouldn't mind having an elven name. It seemed the elves didn't use normal human names so she figured Sara wouldn't cut it anymore. Besides, having an eleven name would help her fit in.

“Hmm,” Eredil twisted her mouth as she thought. “How about Faerdhin? I quite like the sound of that.” Sara shook her head in agreement. “Alright, Faerdhin it is. Well Faerdhin, I have a feeling we will become quick friends. I like to talk and I've finally found someone who can't interrupt me.” Sara smiled at this, she was beginning to like Eredil already and agreed that she could see them becoming quick friends.

Eredil hadn't been kidding when she said she liked to talk. She talked the entire walk back to her clan. Sara tried to explain as well as she could that she knew nothing about this world or its inhabitants. Eredil had seemed to have picked that up pretty quickly however as she was already giving her a quick lesson on the Dalish and how they lived. She explained that she was a little more open-minded about the outside world and shemlen than the rest of her clan mates and that they may not accept her with open arms, at least at first.

She explained to Sara that although she was dressed like a Dalish and she had found her in the middle of the woods where almost no city elf would wander, she didn't have a vallaslin. A vallaslin was the face tattoo that all the Dalish got when they were of age, and given that Sara was passed that age it was a little odd that she didn't already have one.

She could become a part of clan Lavellan if she wanted but that would take some time Eredil explained. Apparently, there was a whole process to joining a new clan and it was rare for an elf to leave their clan to join another unless they were a mage. Sara listened intently as Eredil explained everything. Since she couldn't speak she was simply content listening to someone else talk and Eredil was providing her with a lot of valuable information.

Sara couldn't get the man out of her head, however. She had come to this world with a specific purpose and even though it was only the first day she felt like she should already be looking for him, but she had no idea where to start. However, she knew the man wasn't an elf so that was something and it meant she was in the wrong place. On the other hand, she couldn't leave yet. Not only was she hungry and needed a place to spend the night but Eredil was a huge help. She read Sara's lips and signs well and was glad to offer any information and help she could. They seemed to both have already taken a liking to each other. When they made it to the clan’s camp they were greeted by another elf.

“Eredil, I'm glad to see you've returned I-” he stopped when he spotted Sara. “Whose that?”

“This is Faerdhin,” Eredil motioned to Sara. “I met her in the woods and I need to speak to the Keeper about this. So please excuse us.” They moved past him, “I'll see you later.” She threw back over her shoulder.

Sara was examining the camp when Eredil turned to her. “He's cute isn't he?” She caught Sara off guard so she just stared at her blankly while she tried to catch up. “I've had my eye on him for a while. I'm just waiting for him to make the first move. Men can be so clueless.” She rolled her eyes as they made their way toward a large tent in the middle of the camp.

Eredil introduced Sara to her clan’s keeper. They spoke for a while, some of the words were in Elvhen however, so she couldn't understand everything. Eredil explained the situation and her keeper was kind enough to agree to let Sara stay. Eredil showed her to her tent where she would be sleeping and left her for the night.

Sara sat on her bed and looked around her tent. It was sparsely furnished with furniture the Dalish had obviously made themselves. The blankets on her bed were made from the hides of animals, they were soft and felt like they would be warm. She absentmindedly ran her fingers over the fur as she thought. She didn't know what she was going to do. It's not like she could tell them why she was there with no voice. Even if she did have a voice she wouldn't tell them that she was a spirit that had made a deal with a demon. It sounded even more ridiculous if she added the part about coming to find true love with a man she knew nothing about, including his name. Sara sighed, this was going to be more complicated than she thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Sara had been living amongst the Dalish for a couple of days and Eredil was finally letting her wander from camp. Most of the time she would follow Sara from a short distance away watching her curiously as she explored the forest. They would talk occasionally, well Eredil would talk and Sara would just listen. But most of the time she would just watch silently as Sara twirled around the forest, smelling flowers and chasing after animals. She would laugh as she watched Sara explore with an almost childlike wonder.

Other time's, however, Eredil was busy with her clan responsibilities and Sara would sneak off on her own. She would never stray too far from camp in case something happened but she was easily distracted. The smallest thing could grab her attention and pull her away from the safety of the camp. This time it was a butterfly.

It was like no butterfly she had ever seen before, it was large with iridescent wings. She watched as it floated from flower to flower then up higher as it moved to find a new patch of flowers. The sunlight sparkled along its wings making them change color as it glided through each sunbeam. Sara trailed along behind it, mesmerized by its beauty as she followed it through the forest.

When the butterfly disappeared behind some trees she pushed her way through the vegetation and stumbled out into a clearing. When she took a better look, however, it seemed to be a path through the woods. She was about to continue on when she saw some movement out of the corner of her eye. When she turned to investigate she almost stopped breathing, standing there only a couple of feet away from her was the man, the one she had come to find.

She slowly turned to face him as she watched him hold up a hand to stop the troops movement behind him. She could feel her heart practically beating out of her chest. He was older than he had been when she had first seen him, by quite a few years but it was definitely him. His golden blonde hair and bright amber eyes were unmistakable. He was just as handsome as she remembered. He and his men were all eyeing her curiously as she had frozen in place when she had seen them.

After a few moments he took a step toward her, “Hello.” He said with some uncertainty.

Sara managed a smile and held up her hand in greeting. This was what she had been waiting for. He was the entire reason she was here.

Her smile seemed to ease him, “My name is Commander Cullen Rutherford of the Inquisition’s forces. Are you Dalish?” When she didn't immediately answer he continued. “I only ask because you look Dalish but you don't have a-” he motioned to his face with his hand, “I forget the Elvhen word but a face tattoo.”

Sara didn't know how to answer that question, she wasn't actually Dalish but she had been adopted by them so she decided to go with yes. She smiled at him again and shook her head.

“Do you know where I could find clan Lavellan? We have some news of one of their clan members.”

Again she shook her head yes and motioned for him and his men to follow her. She began retracing her steps through the woods while the Commander fell in beside her and his men trailed behind.

“I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.” He looked over at her expectantly.

Sara looked back a little awkwardly before biting her lip and returning her eyes to the forest. She had no way of introducing herself, at least no way he would understand.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Alright, good to know.” He mumbled as he continued to push his way through the forest next to her.

“Faerdhin!”

Sara scanned the forest in front of her when she heard Eredil calling her name. She ignored confused looks from the Commander as she quickened her steps so she could make it to her before they did.

“Faerdhin, there you are.” Eredil grabbed her by the shoulders, “You wandered off again, you know you can't do that. What were you doing out there?”

“I believe she was chasing a butterfly.” The Commander answered for her as he stepped out of the woods behind her.

Eredil immediately placed herself between Sara and the Commander like a protective mother seemingly trying to shelter her from him. “Faerdhin, who are these shemlen?” She asked as she turned her head to see her response. Sara signed friend to her to let her know that they didn't mean them any harm.“Friends? Do you know them?”

“Wait, you understood that? The Commander asked.

“Yes,” In fact Eredil did understand Sara’s signs. Sara’s mother had known some sign language and had taught Sara when she was young. She was surprised she remembered any of it, but any signs she did remember she had used from the first day so Eredil could learn them.

Eredil went to speak again but the Commander interrupted her. “What, can she not speak?”

“No, she's mute.” The Commander sighed at this and gave Sara an apologetic look.

“We're here looking for clan Lavellan. We have news on one of your clan mates, Aeneth.” The Commander explained.

“Aeneth?! You've seen her? How is she?” Eredil perked up at the mention of her name.

“Yes, she's well, but a lot has changed. I need to speak with your Keeper at once.”

“Alright, follow me.”

Eredil led them all through the woods and back to the camp. The looks they got from the other elves just proved to Sara how much the Dalish were distrusting of humans. She could hear them murmur about the shemlen as they went by.

When they reached the keeper’s tent they all filed inside and listened to the Commander explain the situation. Apparently Aeneth had been the only survivor of an explosion at a temple. She had gone into the fade and come out with a mark on her hand. The explosion had opened up a massive breach in the sky. This had weakened the veil and created a ton of smaller rifts all across Thedas. That explained why Sara had been able to find somewhere to cross over so easily. They had started an organization called the Inquisition to close the breach and capture whoever was responsible. Aeneth was being called the “Herald of Andraste” and was a pivotal member of the group. Aeneth had wanted to inform her clan and the Commander had agreed to come personally to see it done.

Sara nudged Eredil with her elbow as the meeting was coming to a close.

“What?” The elf turned to look at her.

 _I need to go back with him_ , Sara thought as she tried to convey those feelings to her friend.

“You want to go with them? Why?” She gave her a confused look. Sara just shrugged, that would be harder to explain than her friend knew.

“Alright, well if you're going, I'm going. Besides, Aeneth is a close friend and I want to see how she's holding up. Let me talk to the Keeper.” Eredil waited until the meeting was officially over then she pulled the Keeper off to the side.

Sara watched as they talked, intently studying Eredil’s face for a reaction. When she came back she was smiling, which Sara took as a good sign.

“We can go, we just have to ask the Commander if they'll take us.”

Before Sara could react to the news Eredil was already skipping away to talk to the Commander. He was outside the tent putting some papers away in the sack on the back of his horse.

“Commander?” He turned to face them, “We were wondering if we could go back with you.”

“You want to join the Inquisition?” He seemed more than a little surprised.

“If you'll have us.” She smiled.

He scanned his eyes over them, “Well, I don't think either of you are cut out for the army but there are plenty of other places to work and we always need help.”

“Is that a yes?” Eredil asked expectantly, biting her lip in anticipation.

“That's a yes,” the Commander smiled, shaking his head at their enthusiasm. “Pack your things, we leave in the morning.”


	5. Chapter 5

Sara shoved the last of the clothing that she had been given into her bag. She didn't have many possessions and anything she did have was kindly given to her by Eredil. Since she didn't have much it didn't take her long to pack and soon she was standing outside next to the rest of the Inquisition’s men and horses waiting for Eredil.

“Ready to go?” Eredil asked as she came walking up to Sara with two Halla in tow.

Sara shook her head yes but eyed the Halla cautiously. She hoped they didn't expect her to ride one of them. It's not that she didn't like the Halla it's just that she had never ridden anything in her life and the Halla looked wilder than the horses. Eredil handed the reins of one of the Halla to Sara and then started fastening her bag to the back of her own. Sara stood awkwardly holding the reins of the animal. It sniffed her curiously before nudging her shoulder. She patted its nose before tapping Eredil’s back.

“What's the matter?” She noticed that Sara had made no move to put her things, or herself for that matter on the Halla.

Sara motioned to the Halla and then shook her head no. She wasn't riding it, not by herself at least.

“You don't know how to ride?” Sara shook her head no in response. “Hmm, I would offer to take you on my Halla with me but these animals are so small and slight two people can be a big load, especially with our bags. Maybe you can ride with the Commander or one of his men, I'll go ask.”

Sara followed Eredil as she left her Halla and went to find the Commander. He was on the other side of all of the men currently tightening the straps on his saddle.

“Commander?” He turned to face them, “We have a little problem.”

“What is it?” He knit his eyebrows together in concern.

“Faerdhin can't ride, and I would take her on my Halla with me but it would be too heavy for the animal. We were wondering if you or maybe one of your men could take her.”

He looked at her now, “You can't ride?” Sara shook her head no, “That is serious,” but the tone of his voice and the smile on his face said otherwise. “She can come with me, it's not a problem.” He took Sara’s bag from her and fastened it onto his horse next to his own.

“Are you sure it's ok?” Eredil questioned.

“Of course, I've taken much-” he scanned her over with his eyes, “larger people with me before.” Sara watched as he climbed onto the back of his horse with ease. Once he was situated he looked down at her. “We’ll put you on the back so you have something to hold onto besides the horse’s mane.” He reached a hand down to her, which she eyed uncertainly. “It's alright, I don't bite.” She looked up to find him smiling at her reassuringly. The bad part of her mind hoped that wasn't true in all cases. “Alright now just jump and I'll pull you up.” He instructed after Sara had taken his hand.

She jumped and he pulled her up with surprising strength. She got one leg over the horse but immediately began to slide off before she could position herself correctly. She grabbed onto the Commander’s arm and clung onto him as she pulled herself the rest of the way on with his help.

“Are you good?” He turned his body part way around so he could look at her.

She gave him an apologetic look and signed sorry by rubbing her fist on her chest. He eyed her curiously and cocked an eyebrow at the motion.

“She says she's sorry.” Eredil, who had watched the whole ordeal from the ground, informed him.

“Oh, no apology necessary.” He faced forward again, “You better hold on tight, once we're out of the woods we'll be taking it pretty quickly.”

However, they took their trek through the woods slowly so Sara leaned away from the Commander and held onto the back of the saddle. The path through the woods was uneven and overgrown so they couldn't go very quickly. She relaxed and just let her body move with the horse underneath her as she looked around. She watched the woods pass by slowly, occasionally sticking her hand out to feel a branch or grab a leaf. No one spoke much so they traveled mostly in silence. Sara wished she had a voice as she enjoyed singing and would probably be humming some tune to herself to pass the time.

Some of the path was severely overgrown and they had to weave their way through branches and trees. At one point the Commander pushed a branch out of the horse's way and released it as he and the horse went through. When he let it go, however, the branch snapped back and promptly smacked Sara in the face. It made a thwack as it impacted with her forehead. She flinched back away from it and brought a hand up to rub the sore spot on her head.

“Are you okay?” The Commander cringed at her in concern. She shook her head yes with one eye still squeezed shut from where she had been hit. “I'm so sorry.” He apologized. Sara just smiled at him to let him know it was alright.

When they finally made it out of the forest it was nothing but open grasslands for as far as Sara could see, with some mountains off in the distance. She tilted her head back and looked up at the bright blue sky above her. With only a few white puffy clouds in sight, the sun was shining brightly down on them. She could already feel its heat on her back.

“You're going to want to hold on for this, were about to go much faster.” The Commander informed her. Sara tentatively put her hands on either side of him. He chuckled at this before taking her hands in his and wrapping her arms around his torso. “It's alright, you won't hurt me.” He smiled as he took the reins in his hands. Confident that she was properly secured he coaxed the horse to go faster. As they lurched forward Sara squeezed him tighter. “Just relax and enjoy the views. I've got you.” He assured her as they picked up speed.

At first, she tried to avoid as much contact with his body as she could but it was impossible. So finally she just gave in. She let her body press into his back and laid her head against him. It was warm and being this close to him just heated her up even more. She could feel him breathing against her, his back rising and falling with the motion. He smelled good too, like warm leather and moss. She leaned against him as she watched the world fly by.

When they finally stopped for the night Sara was tired and sore from all of the riding. The Commander slid off the horse first, before turning to help her down. She swung her farthest leg over the side of the horse and then slid down into his outstretched hands as he helped her to the ground. She retrieved her bag from the back of the horse and then watched as the men quickly set up the camp.

A fire was made in the middle of the circle of tents and dinner was served. Sara ate off to the side by herself. She listened to the men talk and watched Eredil flirt with some of the cuter soldiers a couple of feet away. Her clan might not be open to humans but she was.

Since she wasn't talking she finished eating first and snuck off on her own. They were camped out in the open right next to the path. They had stomped down the tall grass to make an open area for the tents. She squeezed her way between two tents and wandered out into the high grass. It was about waist high on her and mostly soft. Although there were some rough patches that cut her arms and legs as she waded through. The ground was rough beneath her feet where the dead stalks and roots of the plants mingled together and formed a coarse bed. She had grown used to walking around mostly barefoot as the Dalish only wrapped their feet and didn't wear shoes.

When she was a good distance away from the camp where the firelight was just a dim glow and the loud talking of the soldiers had quieted to a whisper she plopped down in the grass. This was the first she had really seen of the sky since she had been made real, especially the night sky. In the forest, the sky was covered by the thick layers of leaves at the tops of the trees and only small slivers could be seen at a time. But here, out in the open, she could see everything. All of the unfamiliar stars and the two moons that circled the planet she now called home were in full view. She laid back in the grass and let out a deep breath as she took in the night sky.

“Faerdhin! Faerdhin?!” Sara went to sit up as she heard Eredil calling her name but stopped halfway when she heard the Commander calming her friend.

“It's alright, she's just over there.” Sara peeked through the grass in time to see the Commander point to the spot where she was lying. “I saw her sneak away from the camp so I followed her but it seems she just wanted a place away from everyone to look at the night sky.”

“You know she was like this back in the forest too.” Sara heard her friend say as she moved to stand next to the Commander. She quietly sank back down into the grass and listened silently to their conversation.

“Like what?” The Commander asked.

“You know, just in awe of everything. When I first saw her in the forest she was barefoot on the grass her face tilted toward the sky twirling through the sunbeams. It was almost-”

“Child-like?” the Commander finished for her.

“Exactly, like she'd never been in a forest before.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Eredil paused, “I guess not.”

Their conversation stopped and Sara could hear footsteps coming toward her. When she heard them stop she looked over to find the Commander watching her.

“Mind if I join you?” He motioned to the spot next to her in the grass. When she shook her head no he sat down in the grass beside her. “Admiring the stars?” She nodded as he laid down on his back next to her.

She glanced over at him to get his attention and then gave him a questioning look before drawing with her finger in the sky. He scrunched his eyebrows together at this so she did it again.

“Oh,” she could see the realization dawn on his face. “You want to know about the constellations?” She nodded. “Well I don't know too many but this one,” he drew lines between the stars in the sky, “is visus, the symbol of the Inquisition. And that one,” he traced his finger through another pattern of stars, “is equinor, which looks like a rearing horse.” He turned his head to smile at her and she smiled back. “Well, it's late and we have a long day tomorrow. Everyone else had gone to bed so I suggest you do the same. You wouldn't want to be out here alone.”

He got up and extended a hand to help her up as well. Then he walked her to her tent and left her for the night. Sara crawled silently into bed careful not to wake Eredil who was already fast asleep in her own bed. _So far so good_ , she thought as she drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning Sara awoke to an empty tent and a lot of noise. Sunlight was already filtering through the tent flap that had been left slightly ajar. She sat up and stretched before she slid out of bed. The bottom of the tent was cool beneath her feet and the air was even colder as she changed her clothes. She stuffed her things back into her bag and brushed her fingers through her hair quickly before she finally left the tent.

As the morning air hit her face she breathed in the smell of the mist and the porridge for breakfast. She walked over the dew covered ground as she looked around. The camp was already mostly taken down, her tent was one of the last ones standing. She sat down on the grass a few feet from the fire and yawned. Eredil came up to her smiling holding a bowl of porridge.

“I saved you a bowl.” She said as she handed the steaming porridge to her. “The Commander wants to leave as soon as possible so I would eat quickly.” Her friend informed her.

Sara smiled at her in thanks and began to shovel the porridge into her mouth. She watched the soldiers clean up the rest of the camp as she ate. Once she was finished she stood and joined everyone as they were preparing to leave.

“Ready to go?” The Commander asked as he came up to her with his horse in tow. She nodded as he picked her bag up off the ground and fastened it to the back of his horse.

When he looked at her again she motioned to herself and then the front of the horse. This was met with a very confused look. It took three tries before he finally understood what she was trying to say. 

“You want to ride on the front of the horse?” She smiled and nodded. “Why?” Sara pointed to her eyes and then to everything around them. “A better view.” He chuckled, “Are you sure? You won't have anything to hold onto besides the horse's mane.” 

Sara furrowed her brow in thought and glanced away from him. He did have a point and she already felt uncomfortable on the horse as it was. When she looked back at him he was smirking at her.

“Faerdhin, I'm not going to let you fall off the horse.” He said in amusement before turning away from her. He looked as if he was going to get on the horse but then seemingly changed his mind as he turned back to her. “Would you like to try getting on the horse by yourself.” Sara shot him a surprised and uncertain look. “Come on, it's not that hard.” He assured her as he steered her toward the horse with a hand on her back.

He taught her how to get on the horse before stepping back and letting her try. He crossed his arms and watched with an amused grin as she feebly jumped to try to get her leg over the horse. By the third try, he chuckled and offered to help her. He grabbed behind the knee of the leg she had in the stirrup and helped hoist her up. Once she was on the horse she beamed proudly down at him. He smiled back as he put his own foot in the stirrup and climbed up behind her. 

By the time he was comfortably seated behind her Sara had realized that sitting in the front had been a very bad idea. It was one thing to be pressed against his back but it was a whole nother story to have him pressed against hers. She could feel his entire chest pressed against the length of her back not to mention she was practically sitting in between his legs. Apparently when he said he wouldn't let her fall off the horse that meant that he was going to hold onto her. As he now casually had an arm wrapped around her torso.

Sara could barely breathe in her new position. That didn't seem to be a problem for the Commander, however, as she could feel his chest rising and falling against her back. She closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down. Her body was burning hot wherever he touched her and she knew her cheeks were a light shade of crimson.

He had no idea who she was or the kind of effect he had on her. He was completely clueless and Sara couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing. She was surprised at how enthralled she really was with him. At least now she had met him. He seemed decent enough so far, she thought he was quite kind and a good Commander from what she had seen.

They started on their journey again as they galloped down the path. It was another nice day but Sara could see dark clouds in the distance, which meant rain. She hoped it wouldn't rain until after they were done riding for the day. She couldn't imagine being stuck on the back of a horse so close to the Commander completely drenched.

It was nice to feel the wind on her face and the sun on her back as they rode. The views were much better up front since she didn't have a large back and golden topped head to block her view, not that she really minded since he could be considered a view himself.

The first time he spoke into her ear startled her and she jumped. He backed away from her immediately as she turned and shot him a bashful look. He smiled at her before leaning back in.

“Sorry,” he started speaking into her ear again, “I didn't mean to startle you. You just seem so fascinated by everything that I thought I could point out a few things for you.”

Sara nodded and he began to direct her attention to different landmarks or places. He named mountain ranges and lakes, ruins, and towns and even some flowers as they passed. Sara absorbed all of the information with wonder. He seemed to know a lot about where they were. She was glad to accept any knowledge or experience he had for her. She was happy to just listen to him talk and could feel herself relaxing.

By the time they stopped for the night the storm clouds had fully rolled in above them. Sara was thankful that the nice weather had held out for their ride. The men managed to get the camp set up just in time for the first raindrops to fall. Sara listened to the pounding of the rain on the top of her tent and watched it fall through the open flap. This was the first time it had rained since she was made real again and she was thoroughly enjoying it. While she was alive she had loved the rain, especially thunderstorms. 

After she had finished eating she stood and left the tent while Eredil wasn't paying attention. The first drops of rain that splashed down onto her face were so refreshing. She tilted her head up and felt more drops fall onto her skin. She walked a little ways away from the camp. The only light came from the candles that were lit in each tent. It sent a warm glow over the surrounding area.

She watched as lightning arced across the sky in the distance. A few moments later she felt the thunder rumble through her. She tilted her face back up toward the sky and opened her mouth to catch some rain on her tongue. She smiled as she began to spin in the flurry of water falling around her. Nothing could have prepared her for the feelings that would wash over her from finally being free from the fade. Her eyes were opened to just how much torture the fade had been. She had missed life so much, even just the small things, like the feeling of the rain on her skin or the sun on her face.

“Faerdhin?”

She stopped spinning and blinked through the water that was clouding her vision. The Commander was squinting at her through the rain, which had gradually slowed to a drizzle.

“What are you doing out here? You'll catch a cold.” She blinked at him, he may have had a point. “Come on,” he beckoned to her to follow him.

Sara let out a huff of a breath before reluctantly following him back to the camp. She apathetically trudged along behind him as she watched him weave through the puddles now littering the ground. A small smile spread across her face. She picked up a little speed before jumping feet first into the next large puddle. Muddy water splashed up her legs and out around the puddle. 

She looked up smiling only to find the Commander frozen in place in front of her. His shoulders were raised and tense. She looked down along his back and could see that the dark muddy water had splashed halfway up his back. She cringed as he slowly turned around to face her. Her eyes locked with his and she shot him an apologetic look as she backed slowly out of the puddle. He eyed her unhappily for a moment. 

Suddenly, Sara squeezed her eyes shut as she felt water splash all over her. She wiped the dirty water from her eyes as she blinked them open. The Commander was smirking at her playfully with one foot in the puddle. He had stomped into the giant puddle and splashed water all down the front of her. She smiled back before breaking out into a silent laugh. The Commander chuckled, his face reflecting the glee that was spread across her own.

“Come on,” he motioned to her again, “now we’re both likely to catch a cold.”

He brought her back to her tent where she was met by an unhappy Eredil. Who lectured her about wandering off. Sara listened to her friend's lecture as she changed her clothes and dried her hair. She didn't care what Eredil said she felt like it was well worth it.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time everyone was ready to leave the next morning Sara was already standing next to the horses with her bag in hand. She was waiting patiently for the Commander who was busy elsewhere packing up the last of the supplies. She decided to put her bag on the horse herself and fastened it easily to the horse's saddle. By the time she finished the Commander had as well and he was standing behind her looking at her expectantly.

“Ready to go?” He asked as he moved next to her to fasten his own bag next to hers. She nodded and smiled at him. 

He smiled back for a moment before he squinted and reached toward her. His hand brushed away her hair before he drew his thumb across the skin in front of her ear. Sara barely dared to breathe as he touched her. He drew his hand away and examined his thumb before wiping it on his pants.

“Mud,” he said as he smirked knowingly. Sara couldn't help the slightly embarrassed and shy smile that spread across her face.

Once again he helped her onto the horse before taking up his spot behind her. As they started off everyone was quiet. The Commander shifted in the saddle behind her and Sara turned her head slightly at the movement. As she went to look over her shoulder the Commander leaned toward her. They both froze when they realized how close they were. Sara immediately snapped her head forward again. She had felt his warm breath blow across her lips. Her cheeks were still burning when he spoke.

“Sorry, I was going to ask if you wanted to steer.” He said into her ear. His breath brushed across her cheek and blew the hair around her face. She quickly shook her head. “Come on, at least try it.” 

He took her hands in his and placed them on the reins. He positioned her hands correctly and then let go. Sara tensed up, she had no idea what she was doing. Her hands tightened nervously on the reins. 

“Relax, if you tense up so will the horse. It's quite simple, whichever direction you pull in, the horse will go. Right now we're just going straight so you don't have to do much.” 

He let her try it out for a moment while they were going slowly before he squeezed the horse beneath them and encouraged it to go faster. Sara opened her mouth to let out a silent squeal as she grappled with the reins. She wrapped her hands tightly around them and in the process pulled back on the horse. She jerked forward as they suddenly lost speed and would have flown off the horse if not for the Commander’s tight grip around her waist.

“It's alright, you just pulled back on the reins and that tells the horse to stop, but we want him to go faster.” He placed his hands over hers, “So we need to let the reins out a little and give him some slack.” He held the reins with her as they picked up speed again. “See, not so bad.” Sara definitely didn't agree with that statement.

He let her try it out for a while by herself and only took the reins back when he was sure she was comfortable with it. For the rest of the ride, she simply enjoyed the views. 

When evening came the Commander decided that he wanted to reach Haven as soon as possible so they rode through the night. Sara didn't like that idea, she was already tired and wanted to spend the night on her cot and not the back of a horse, but she wasn't in charge.

She watched as darkness fell and the two moons and all the stars came out. They had nice weather for their travel, unlike the previous night. Sara relaxed back into the Commander and watched the stars in the sky. They were always constant, no matter how fast they were going the stars didn't move so it was relaxing to watch their continual light shine down on Thedas. She leaned back even further and let her head fall back to rest on the chest behind her. Her eyes felt heavy and eventually, she gave in to her tiredness. 

“Faerdhin,”

Sara could hear someone softly calling her given name. 

“Faerdhin,”

She shifted as she slowly blinked open her eyes. It was light out and wherever they were was covered in a layer of snow. A shiver ran through her as she drew her arms to her chest. 

“A little chilly isn't it?”

Sara turned her head to find the Commander right next to her. She sat up immediately and looked around. She was still on the horse with the Commander but they were stopped in front of a small village. She blushed as she realized what must have happened.

“We've arrived in Haven. You fell asleep.” He informed her.

She looked back apologetically but he eased her worry with a smile. She couldn't believe she had fallen asleep on him. Despite the cold air, she was suddenly very warm. He got off of the horse and then helped her down before retrieving their bags and handing the horse off at the stables. 

Sara stood awkwardly amongst all of the moving soldiers and townspeople. She had no idea what she was supposed to do with herself. She watched the Commander walk away to greet a slight, pretty elven woman.

“Aeneth!” 

The call went up from behind her and she was almost knocked over as Eredil went racing past her. She bounded through the snow up to the other eleven woman who greeted her warmly. She remembered that Eredil had said they were good friends.

“Aeneth I want you to meet my new friend, Faerdhin.” Eredil turned and motioned for Sara to join them. “She's mute so she doesn't speak but she's still better company than half of the elves in our clan.” The two women shared a knowing look before breaking out into quiet laughter.

Sara made her way over to them and smiled sweetly at the new elf. “I'm Aeneth but most people here call me the Herald, but since you can't speak I guess it doesn't matter what you call me.” She finished awkwardly to which Sara let out a breath of a laugh. At least she wasn't the only one who was awkward. 

The two elves began to catch up and the Commander seemed to be waiting for his turn to speak. Sara listened for a moment before becoming bored and wandering away from the little circle. She drug her feet through the snow, kicking it into a cloud of white in front of her as she went.

A smile spread across her lips as she picked up a handful of a nearby fluffy drift and tossed it into the air. It fell all around her like a glistening waterfall of white so she did it again. Soon she was picking up armfuls of snow and tossing them into the air. She stuck her arms out and spun happily amongst the lazily falling flakes. She caught some of the fresh snow on her tongue as it fell onto her face and in her hair. She smiled to herself, she really had missed being alive.

“What is she doing?” She heard Aeneth ask behind her.

“This seems to be her thing. She has the attention span of a nug and likes to wander off to play like a child.” Eredil responded. Her words were harsh but Sara knew it was just because her friend didn't understand her.

Sara kept her back to them and listened silently to their conversation pretending she couldn't hear them.

“I think you're being too harsh on her.” The Commander stated, “She has a child-like view of the world and a curiosity she likes to feed any chance she gets. I see nothing wrong with that.”

“A little fond of our new friend, Commander?” Aeneth teased.

“No,” he responded quickly sounded flustered, “I mean- um,” he paused before finding his voice again, “She seems like a very nice young lady, and I find her innocence refreshing especially in a time like this. I believe you're judging her too harshly. You told me you found her wandering in the woods.” Sara perked up at this, she didn't know Eredil had told him that. “You don't know what her life was like before, or what she's been through. That might explain her behavior. You shouldn't be so quick to judge.” He stopped at that and Sara could already tell he was walking away by the sound of his heavy footsteps crunching through the snow. 

Both of the elves were silent for a moment before picking up their conversation again with a different topic. Sara smiled to herself, she never expected the Commander to stand up for her like that, it wasn't really necessary but it was sweet. She was happy she had made such a good impression on him. She hadn't known him very long but first impressions are important.

Sara was assigned to a cabin with Eredil and a few others she didn't know. Then a young soldier showed them around. The village was small and quaint but there was a surprising number of people for its size. They got their assignments next, Eredil was assigned to be a hunter because of her experience and skill with a bow. While Sara was assigned to help in the stables, she found this quite ironic and wouldn't have been surprised if the Commander was personally behind her assignment.

Her suspicions were confirmed when he suddenly showed up after she was introduced to her duties. She had been put to work right away mucking stalls and after she finished her second one she turned to find him watching her.

“Like your new job?” He asked with a smile while he leaned against the nearest post, his arms crossed over his chest. She gave him an unamused look as she moved her wheelbarrow down to the next stall. “Oh, it's not that bad. I figured with your new found love of horses you would like a job working with them.” Again his words were met with an unhappy stare. “Come on, this will be good for you. If you don't love them now, you will by the time you're done working here.” She gave him one last hard look before turning her back to him to walk into the next stall. “You'll warm up to it.” He said confidently before she heard his footsteps leaving. Sara let out a heavy breath as she scooped another shovel full of bedding, she hoped he was right.


	8. Chapter 8

“The stables must not be working you hard enough.”

Sara turned at the sudden voice behind her to find the Commander leaning against a nearby tree watching her. She straightened up and wiped her gloves on her pants before turning to face him. She had worry written all over her face but it soon melted away when she realized the Commander was smirking at her.

He straightened when she looked at him, “I should have a word with the stable master if you have time to be out here playing in the snow.” He walked towards her as he continued to smile teasingly. “What are you making?” He asked as he glanced curiously down at the large ball of snow at her feet.

Sara stooped and picked up a handful of snow before motioning to it. He eyed her hand for a moment before guessing. 

“Snow?” He questioned.

Sara nodded encouragingly before tossing the snow back onto the ground. She thought for a moment before motioning to him.

“Me?”

She shook her head no and repeated the motion.

“Person?”

She shook her head again before patting her hand on his chest firmly. 

“Man?” Sara smiled and nodded. “Snowman,” he said after finally putting everything together. “Would you like some help?” Sara's surprised expression made him chuckle. “I might not know anything about making a snowman but I'm a quick study.”

She smiled excitedly at him before making room next to her as she worked. She already had the base of the snowman so she had him help her make the middle section and the head. It should have been much faster with someone helping her but she kept getting distracted. She couldn't help stealing quick glances at the Commander who was diligently working next to her. She spent much more time looking at him then she did at the snow she was rolling in her hands.

She watched his face as he rolled the snow in front of him into a ball. She could see the bright white snow reflecting in his amber eyes which were fixed intently on what his hands were doing. He squinted slightly against the bright sunlight which made the creases around his eyes stand out. Her eyes traced the stubble along his jaw before landing on his lips. His tongue came out to lick his dry lips and Sara followed the movement with her eyes. She felt herself lick her own lips as she watched him. His warm breath came out in front of him in a steady white cloud as it was chilled by the cold afternoon air.

He must have felt her eyes on him as he glanced up at her suddenly. When he caught her watching him he smiled warmly at her. “Am I doing this right?” Sara's cheeks were red as she quickly nodded and returned her eyes to the snow.

He helped her stack the balls of snow on top of each other before stepping back and examining it. “Doesn't look much like a man, unless he's a very pudgy faceless one.” He commented, placing his hands on his sword and cocking his head at their creation. 

Sara laughed silently at this before holding up her finger and then rummaging through her coat pockets. She pulled out a carrot the horse master had given her to make friends with some of the horses first and handed it to the Commander to hold. He examined it curiously as she shoved her hands back into her pockets. Next, she took out two buttons that had fallen off some of the old clothes she had gotten from the quartermaster. She placed those in the Commander's open hands as well. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it when Sara walked away. She found a twig on the ground nearby that curved slightly and decided it would have to work for a mouth.

Once she had everything ready she arranged the pieces on the head of the snowman to make a face. She stepped back to admire her work and squinted in thought before taking off her hat and scarf and putting them on the snowman as well. She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled proudly as the Commander came to stand next to her. 

“Now it looks like a snowman.” He smiled, “You should show the children how to make one.” Sara frowned and shrugged her shoulders as she touched her mouth. “You don't need words to teach them. You taught me just fine without speaking, and besides, if you need help I'm an expert now so I could always be your voice.” Sara smiled and shook her head, the cheeky grin he was giving her made her heart flutter. 

She left her snowman once the Chantry bell rang to signal that her lunch break was over. She went back to the stables and finished her work for the rest of the day before finally being let go for dinner. 

The tavern was exceptionally noisy. All of the boisterous soldiers had made it there before her and she had trouble even making it through the door. She squeezed her way through the many bodies blocking her path before finding an open spot in a corner. A lot of the soldiers seemed to eat quickly or left the tavern with their food so she knew it would clear up soon. 

The second she saw an opening at the bar she made her way up and motioned for one bowl of soup. The second she got her food she squeezed back through the crowd. She had made it halfway across the room before someone bumped into her, causing her to spill the soup all over herself.

“Hey! Watch where you're going!” A voice yelled from behind her.

“It was an accident.” The young soldier in front of her shrugged. 

“Well don't make a habit of it.” The owner of the voice came to stand in front of her, it was Eredil. “Some people have no manners.” She shook her head but Sara just shrugged, she didn't think it was a big deal. “I have a seat at the table over there.” She pointed to a spot behind Sara. “You can sit with me, I'll grab you another bowl of soup.” 

Sara watched as her friend walked back toward the bar before turning and finding a seat at the table she had pointed to. She looked down and brushed at the wet spot on her shirt. She pulled it away from her skin and tried to air it out by blowing on. Her efforts were futile however and when she let the fabric go it snapped back to her skin with a wet sound. She frowned and let out a heavy breath just as Eredil put her new soup down in front of her.

“So,” she started as she took her seat across from her. “How is your job? Do you like it?” Sara tipped her hand from side to side in front of her. “Just ok, really? I wouldn't mind working with the horses. My job isn't bad though there's plenty of game around here and the other hunters and nice and skilled. They're pretty easy to work with.”

“Mind if I join you?” Eredil and Sara both looked up from their conversation to find Aeneth standing that the end of their table. 

“Of course,” Eredil answered for both of them as Sara scooted in to make room for her. “The Herald eats with the common folk?” Eredil asked in a teasing manner once Aeneth was seated.

She smirked as she spooned some food into her mouth. “They like to see me and be around me, it's a morale boost.” Sara nodded in agreement as she looked around. The Herald had warranted a lot of attention the second she stepped foot into the tavern. 

“How do you cope with all of the attention? I mean you are Dalish and most of them are shemlen.”

“You get used to it, and they're really not that bad. What I'm doing is for all of Thedas and that includes all of the races that call this place home.”

“You do have an interesting following, I'll give you that.” Eredil said as she glanced around. “And some of them aren't so bad looking.”

Aeneth scoffed, “Honestly, is that all you think about? You can be so bad sometimes.”

“What?” Eredil replied defensively shrugging her shoulders. “A girl needs to have some fun.”

“There are plenty of other things to do than crawl into every warm bed you can find.” Aeneth retorted quickly.

Eredil gasped while Sara choked on the water she had just taken a sip of. She began coughing into her hand while they started to quarrel.

“Is that what you think I do? What do you take me for? I like to flirt, what's wrong with that?”

“Nothing, except when you do it in excess. All I'm saying is that there are better ways to spend your time.”

“Well not all of us can be heroes, Aeneth.” Eredil snapped.

“I didn't choose this.” The Herald snapped back.

That's the last that Sara heard as she dismissed herself from the table before she ended up drowning from all of the water she knew she would end up choking on if she stayed to listen any longer.

“Leaving so soon?” She stopped and snapped her head up as she almost ran into someone. The Commander gave her a friendly smile as he continued. “Did you already eat or-” he trailed off as his eyes followed the wet stains that littered her shirt and pants. “I think the better question is did any of it make it into your mouth?”

She frowned at this and again brushed at the soup stains on her clothes. The cold night air was already freezing the wet spots to her skin. She looked back up at him and shrugged.

“Let me guess, someone ran into you?” She nodded, “Well I apologize for that. They're good men they just get a little rambunctious. Want me to walk you to your cabin.” Sara shook her head no. “Alright, then goodnight Faerdhin.” She waved as she walked away toward her cabin to retire for the night.


	9. Chapter 9

Sara decided to follow through with the Commander’s idea and soon found herself in front of a small gathering of Haven’s children. They all watched her wide-eyed and curious as she showed them how to make a snowman. It didn't take long before the children caught on and wanted to make their own snowmen. Sara smiled as she watched the children around her laugh and play in the snow. Some of them wanted to make snowmen together while others wanted to make their own. Sara wandered between the piles of snow that were forming and helped each child. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she watched the children. She loved the fact that she could help bring them such innocent joy during such a difficult time.

Some of their parents had been hesitant to let the new, strange, mute Dalish elf teach their children. Some of them even went as far as accompanying their children to her little lesson. It had taken the Commander’s word to convince a few of them to even let their children attend. Once they saw what she was teaching and the joy that spread across their children’s faces they one by one left and allowed the children to play in peace.

“You did a wonderful job.” Sara jumped slightly and let out a surprised gasp as the voice next to her startled her. 

The Commander was next to her with his arms crossed as he watched the children in front of them play. How did he always manage to sneak up on her? And how long had he been standing next to her? Sara scrunched her face in thought.

“What's that face for?” He was looking at her curiously now and Sara just shook her head to dismiss his question. He eyed her for a moment before continuing, “You should be proud of yourself. You did something good here, I'm sure these children welcome the break to be exactly that, children.” Sara smiled at his praise as he patted her on the back before walking away. 

He got a couple of steps away before she got an idea. There was another fun thing to do with snow that she hadn't shown them yet. She tapped some of the nearby children on the shoulder and got them to watch as she picked up a handful of snow and formed it into a small ball. She drew her arm back and lined up her shot before tossing it at the back of the Commander. The snowball flew through the air before impacting on his back with a thud. He stopped walking and stood frozen while the children broke out in contagious laughter. 

He turned around slowly and his eyes immediately found Sara’s as she stood amongst the giggling children with a guilty smile on her face. Her grin got bigger and she let out a silent laugh at the look of betrayal on his face. His eyes narrowed before he bent and picked up a handful of snow. Sara’s eyes got big and she began to back away from him as he formed a large snowball in his hands.

“All's fair,” he said with a smirk as she chucked the snowball at her.

He didn't throw it hard but she flinched when it impacted with her cheek. She opened her mouth in disbelief and glared at him. He smirked again as he made another snowball. The children around them were going crazy and they soon joined the fight. The children seemed to pick sides quickly and soon it was Sara and the Commander facing off against each other each with an army of small children at their command. They fought playfully for a while before the children either got cold or their parents came looking for them.

As the last child left, Sara was brushing the snow from her clothes and hair. “Truce,” A hand appeared in front of her and she took it and shook it firmly with a smile. The Commander smiled back at her before brushing his hand through her hair. “You missed some.” He said nonchalantly before turning and walking away to go back to lunch. 

Sara stood and watched him go, she could still feel his hand in her hair and shook her head to clear her mind. She was about to go back to the stables when a concerned parent intercepted her.

“Have you seen my son? He was down here, but I can't find him now.”

Sara spun in a circle as she looked around them it took her a few seconds to spot the small figure out on the ice-covered lake behind her. She pointed him out to his mother who looked horrified for a second before sprinting to the lakeshore. Sara followed quickly behind her and didn't stop at the shore of the lake like the mother did. She cautiously made her way out onto the thin ice. The mother was yelling for her son to come back but he looked scared now that he was being yelled at and refused to move.

Sara slowly made her way across the ice toward the scared child. Once she reached him she gave him a reassuring smile. Which quickly faded when she heard the ice cracking beneath them. She put on a brave face and coaxed the child away from the cracking ice and back toward his mother. She didn't dare follow him as she was afraid if she moved her heavier weight would cause the ice to break beneath them and she didn't want to risk the child's safety. 

Once he was safely back to shore she took a tentative step forward to test the ice. She watched the crack under her grow as she shifted her weight. Her breathing was shallow as she took another shaky step forward. Her eyes were fixed on the ice as in almost slow motion it split apart beneath her. She gasped as she quickly dropped through the hole now at her feet.

The shock of the freezing cold water stole all of the air from her lungs. It sucked the heat from her body and within seconds she was so frozen she could barely move. She struggled in the dark water and flailed her arms helplessly around her. Her hand impacted with a solid surface above her and she punched against it desperately. She was losing all of her energy to the icy water surrounding her. She opened her eyes and looked up at the ice-covered surface. A cold grey light shone down through it and she watched as bubbles escaped her mouth and floated to the surface only to be trapped by the ice as well. 

She was sinking further and further into the dark depths beneath her when suddenly a hand shot down from above her and yanked her up toward the surface. When she breached the water’s surface she gasped in the freezing cold air the second it hit her face. Her lungs were burning and she felt stiff. She could barely get in a full breath of air. She was pulled onto the ice and was laid face down gasping and shivering.

The Commander sat up next to her, shaking the water from his arm. “Maker’s breath! Faerdhin, are you alright?” he peered at her in concern and stroked his dry hand over her wet hair. Her body was shaking out of control and her breathing was weak. She blinked wearily up at him, unable to move.

“Don't worry, we’ll get you warmed up in no time.”

He stood and dragged her slowly along the ice behind him. When they made it safely to the shore he picked her up and cradled her against his chest as he quickly walked through Haven. He took his red cloak and wrapped it around her as best he could while she was still in his arms. Her teeth chattered together as she shivered violently. He kept glancing down at her in worry as she shook in his arms.

“Solas!” He called out above her, “Help me, open that door.”

Instead of bringing her to the healer's tent which didn't have a fireplace he brought her to one of the cabins near the apothecary. She heard something scrape across the floor before she was sat down on a cot directly in front of the fireplace. 

“Solas, get the fire started.” She could hear the elf moving around behind her as the Commander squatted down in front of her. “We've got to get your wet clothes off.” 

Without waiting for permission he immediately reached out and began undressing her. He pulled her shirt off over her head before pausing and taking off his cloak. He laid it down next to her before reaching behind her to unfasten her breast band. His eyes didn't linger as it fell away from her. She quickly used her arms to cover herself before he took his cloak and draped it over her. He bunched it around her waist as he pulled her pants off, followed by her smalls. He immediately covered her body with his cloak before helping her throw back the covers of the bed and crawl in. He had her face him and then pulled the blankets away from her back to expose her skin to the heat of the fire.

“Solas, use your magic to help heat her up while I make the fire bigger.”

The Commander was soon replaced by Solas as he smiled sympathetically down at her. He took his hands, placed them over her body and closed his eyes in concentration. After a moment he opened his eyes and looked down at her in confusion. He moved his hands back over her body and again closed his eyes. Again he opened them in confusion and shook his head as he looked down at her.

“What are you?” Sara’s eyes widened in terror and she quickly averted her gaze.

“Thank you, Solas.” The Commander dismissed him with a pat on the back. The elven mage stared at her for a moment longer before walking away in silence.

The Commander pulled up a chair and sat next to her while she warmed up. Sara couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had come over her. What Solas had said had scared her. She wondered if he knew she was just a soul parading around as an elf.


	10. Chapter 10

After she put on the fresh clothes Eredil had brought her Sara wrapped her coat around herself and left the cabin. She had spent the night in front of the fire warming up and now that she was better she was heading off to work. She had arrived after the Herald had made a deal with a horse master to get a bunch of horses for the Inquisition. The stables were in the middle of trying to prepare enough stalls to hold them all. As she walked out the door and toward the stairs she was intercepted by another elf.

“What are you?” Solas was blocking her path with a sour look on his face.

Sara swallowed nervously and decided to play dumb. It's not like she could really answer him without being able to speak. So, she kept her face as neutral as possible and just shrugged like she didn't know what he was talking about.

“My magic didn't work on you, it's like it went straight through you. I've never seen that happen before. I've never met anyone with the ability to simply let magic pass through them. So I will ask you again,” he stalked toward her threateningly, “What are you?”

Sara backed away from him slowly. She didn't know what she was going to do. How could she convince him that she was a normal elf? What if he shared his concerns with the others, with the Commander? Just as she started to panic someone stepped between them. 

“What's going on here?” The Commander had stepped partway between them, shielding Sara behind his back from Solas’s harsh glare.

“Nothing Commander, I was just trying to get to know our new friend better.” Solas answered in his usual empty voice.

The Commander eyed him suspiciously, “Well it looked like you were scaring her, so how about you just let her go on her way. I'm sure she's late for work by now.”

“Of course,” Solas said as he began to stroll away from them. “I'm sorry to have kept you.” He threw over his shoulder, directing his icy gaze toward Sara. Sara shivered at the sight of it and quickly scurried down the stairs.

“What was that about?” The Commander asked as he tried to catch up with her. Sara shrugged, she wouldn't tell him even if she could. “I respect Solas but I've always felt uneasy around him so if he ever bothers you again you let me know, alright?” Sara nodded as she separated from the Commander to head toward the stables.

When she arrived at the stables she was immediately handed a pitchfork and sent to work. They had gotten enough hay to start laying down bedding in each of the stalls. She walked to where the hay was stacked and tried to grab a large bail awkwardly. She let go and stepped back as she eyed the stack of hay. She bit her lip before reaching for the hay again. She hefted it into her arms and stumbled as she tried to walk away with it. She managed to catch herself before she fell and regained her balance unsteadily. She paused to make sure she had a firm grip on the hay before walking toward the stall again. Once she reached the door she threw the bail on the ground and let out a weary breath.

She turned when she heard clapping coming from the barn entrance. Standing in the doorway smiling was Captain Rylen. She had never been formally introduced to the man but he had been pointed out to her from a distance. 

“Way to go, lass,” he said as he finished clapping and walked toward her. “For a second there I thought I was going to have to help you. That I was actually going to have to put a work out in for once.” He smirked jokingly as he flexed an arm, which got a silent laugh from Sara. “Captain Rylen,” he offered her his hand as he introduced himself. Sara took it and shook it with a smile. “And I know who you are.” He smiled before reaching into his bag, “Compliments of the Commander,” he pulled out a pair of woolen socks. “Apparently you left them drying by the fire.” 

Sara took them gratefully and shoved them into her pockets. She mouthed “thank you” to the Captain who just smiled. 

He examined her for a moment, “The Commander was right, you are cute.” Sara's eyes widened and she felt herself start to blush as she looked away bashfully. The Captain chuckled, “I've never seen anyone's ears turn pink.” Sara reached up and touched one of her pointed ears as she glanced up at him. He gave her a wink, followed by a cheeky smile as he turned and left.

She stood still for a moment before letting out a breath. The Commander had said she was cute? Just the thought made butterflies start in her stomach. Her hands fidgeted with her blonde hair as she thought. She shook her head after a second and tried to refocus. She needed to get back to work. 

She pulled out the dagger they had given her for work and cut the ties on the bail of hay at her feet. She got an idea as she pulled one of the ties off. She cut it to a smaller size and then flipped her hair over before gathering it in her hands. She tied the string around it and pulled her ponytail tight against her head as she went back to work.

Despite the cold weather, the barn was always warm even though there was no fire. All of the horses kept it warmer and her physically demanding work meant she was never chilled. She laid bedding and then fed and watered all of the horses before she was finally done for the day. She put her things back where they belonged before she left the stables.

It was past dinner time so when she made it to the tavern almost everyone else had already eaten so it was a lot quieter and empty than most nights. She took a bowl of the soup they were serving and sat at a table by herself.

“Is this seat taken?” 

She looked up at the sudden voice in front of her. The Commander was standing next to her table with a bowl of soup in hand. He was motioning to the chair across from her. She shook her head “no.”

“Do you mind if I join you?” Again she shook her head and he took a seat. She picked up her spoon and brought it toward her mouth. “I hope the soup is actually making it into your mouth today.”

She paused and looked up at him. He gave her a half smiled before spooning some soup into his own mouth. Sara nodded with a silent laugh as he watched her with a smirk.

He suddenly placed his much larger hand over the one she had resting on the table. Sara froze at his touch and stared at his hand. “In all seriousness, are you alright? No lasting effects from yesterday?” She looked up into his sincere whiskey-colored eyes and gave him a reassuring smile as she shook her head. He patted her hand a few times, “Good,” he removed his hand from hers and Sara let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.

They sat in silence together for a moment. Sara kept stealing quick glances at the Commander and when he caught her on the fifth one he smiled. 

“So,” he started up the conversation again when he caught her eyes. “Trying out a new hairstyle today?” 

He used his spoon to motion to her head. Sara reached up and felt her hair. It was still back in a ponytail but she was sure she looked like a mess with all of the pieces she could feel out of place. She nodded while giving him an awkward smile. 

“It looks nice,” he replied nonchalantly as he ate more soup. Sara swallowed nervously at his compliment. “You met Captain Rylen today?” She nodded quickly, happy for the change in subject. “He said he found you working hard, I'm glad to hear it.” He gave her a smile, “He didn't flirt with you too much did he?” Sara felt herself blush at his remark, and touched one of her ears self consciously. The Commander sighed, “He does that with everyone.” He assured her, “He's a good man and a fantastic second in command but the man is the complete opposite of me. Which is probably a good thing considering our positions. I don't know what I would do without him.” Sara smiled as she listened to him talk fondly about his second in command. 

They finished their soup and brought their empty bowls to the counter. After the Commander had thanked Flissa for the meal he followed Sara to the door. He stopped her before she could leave.

“Can I walk you to your cabin?”

She thought for a second before shaking her head “no.” In reality, she wanted him to but she had heard on more than one occasion that “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” She figured it was worth a try and if some distance she could get was to walk to her cabin alone then that's what she was going to do.

“Well, goodnight then Faerdhin.” He said with a smile before walking down toward the gates. Sara watched him go before heading to her own cabin.


	11. Chapter 11

Sara pushed open one of Haven’s large gates with some effort. She was on her way to the stables, where they were in the final stages of preparing for the arrival of the horses from the Hinterlands. The sun was warm on her face and she watched the light dance off the frozen landscape in front of her. 

As she walked to the stables something caught her eye and she looked over to find Captain Rylen waving to her from the side of the training area. She waved back with a smile and was about to walk away when he made another motion for her to keep watching. She stopped and looked on as he bent to pick up some snow and then snuck up behind the Commander who was standing a few feet away observing the troops as they trained. Sara covered her mouth out of reflex as she caught on to what the Captain was doing and began to silently giggle. The Captain brought his finger up to his mouth and motioned for her to stay quiet- not that she could make any noise anyway- and then in a flash grabbed the Commander by the collar and forcefully shoved the handful of snow he was carrying down the back of his shirt.

“Maker’s breath!” The Commander lurched forward away from the icy snow that was sliding down his back. “Andraste’s knickers!” He grabbed at the back of his shirt to try and let the snow out as he continued to dance around. 

Rylen was practically rolling on the ground with laughter and Sara wasn't much better. The entire field watched as the Commander flailed around until he finally managed to get the snow out of his clothes. Rylen’s laughter was infectious as it quickly spread through the ranks and even reached the stables. The Commander was the only one not laughing. 

The Commander turned on the Captain quickly and held up a threatening finger as he stalked toward him, “You-”

Rylen held up his hands in surrender, “You can't kill me in front of the lady.” He motioned to Sara who was standing off to the side. 

The Commander followed his finger with his eyes and groaned when he saw her standing there. He looked almost embarrassed at first until he noticed the wide smile she was hiding behind her hand.

“Were you in on this??” Sara snickered silently, “You were weren't you. What is this, a conspiracy? Are you trying to overthrow me? Is this a coup?” He pointed to Sara, “First your snowball fight,” then he pointed to Rylen, “and now you're shoving handfuls of snow down my back.”

“You're lucky it wasn't your trousers.” Rylen mumbled, which got more laughter out of Sara and a hard look from the Commander. 

“Rylen, get back to work. And you,” he pointed at Sara, “get off my field, go make yourself useful in the stables.” His fake anger did a poor job of masking his amusement. Sara smiled and with a nod of obedience turned to head to her job. 

The horses started to arrive after lunch and Sara was very busy trying to keep up. She had to keep track of all of the horses to make sure they got each and every one they were promised. On top of that, she had to assign each horse to a stall and make sure they got food and water right away. It was a lot of work and some of the horses were less than cooperative. Even with the horse master there it was still a challenge.

She was busy marking off something on the paper in front of her, which she had pressed up against the wall to write on with some charcoal when a commotion outside caught her attention. She placed the paper on a nearby bench and went to see what was happening. When she walked outside she found one of the other stable hands struggling with a defiant mare. The horse was obviously uncomfortable with being in a new place but it was holding up the line and they needed to get it in the barn and into a stall.

Sara decided to help the young man who was struggling with the horse and came up next to it to soothe it. She placed her hand on its shoulder and ran it down the horses back in a gentle motion. At her touch, the horse seemed to calm down and stopped fighting the pull of the rope.

Everything was going well and they had almost gotten the horse into the barn when the stable hand behind them lost control of his horse. The horse reared up and the movement and noise scared the horse Sara was helping with. The mare jerked to the side and kicked out with its back legs. One of its legs caught Sara in the chest and sent her sprawling to the ground. 

She landed face first in the snow and struggled to breathe after all of the air had been forced from her lungs. The pain that was coursing through her body was a shocking new sensation. She had almost forgotten what pain felt like. She tried to get up but felt herself… flicker? It was an odd sensation like she was phasing in and out of existence. She didn't understand what was happening as she collapsed back to the ground.

“Faerdhin?!” Someone called her given name. “Rylen, get the horse.” She heard the snow crunch as someone knelt next to her. “Faerdhin, are you alright?” As she tried to sit herself up a large hand found her shoulder and helped her. “Take it easy,”

She looked up and met the concerned eyes of the Commander who was kneeling in front of her. He helped her sit up and then cupped her face as he moved it from side to side in the sunlight, examining her for any wounds.

“Are you hurt?” He asked as he released her. Sara shook her head no, the pain that had been there before was gone now and she felt fine. “Are you sure? You took quite the blow.” He reached out and tentatively pressed her ribs. “Does this hurt?” She shook her head, “How about this?” Again she shook her head no. He furrowed his brows, he looked perplexed. 

“Are you alright, lass?” Captain Rylen returned from the barn and kneeled in the snow next to the Commander. He grabbed her by the jaw and examined her face. 

“She seems to be fine, not even a scratch.” The Commander answered for her. 

“Hmm, surprising, but good.” He released her, “Gald the mare didn't damage that pretty face of yours.” Sara felt herself blush under his gaze, “There go the ears again.” He said with a cheeky smirk. 

“Rylen,” the Commander elbowed his second in command. 

“Alright, sorry.” He said as he stood, he didn't look the least bit sorry. 

“I think you should take the rest of the day off.” The Commander said before patting her knee and standing as well. 

At the same time, both men stretched out there hands as they offered to help her up. They looked at each other as Sara glanced between them. She smiled to herself as she grabbed both of their hands and pulled herself to her feet. She thanked both men and waved goodbye as she walked to her cabin. It was late in the day and she wasn't very hungry so she figured she should just go to bed.

Not long after she had laid down on her cot and closed her eyes did she find herself back in a very familiar place, the fade. Her stomach dropped as she looked around and realized where she was. 

“No, no this can't be happening!” She had her voice back in the fade.

“Oh, it's happening sweetheart.” Came a devious voice from behind her. 

“You?” It was the demon she had made the deal with. 

“You enter the fade when you dream. Usually, you can't tell because it's a dream but I wanted to talk to you about your little stunt earlier.”

“You stole my voice!” Sara stalked toward the demon. 

“That's old news, dear.” The demon waved a dismissive clawed hand at her. “What you're here about is the little trick you pulled earlier.”

“What trick?”

“The one where you got kicked by a horse and almost blew this whole thing.”

“What are you talking about? It's not like I did that on purpose.”

“I don't care if it was an accident or not. You know how hard I work to keep you looking like a cute little elf? It's not easy.”

“I thought you made me real again?” Sara was confused. 

“No, not until the deal is complete. That takes too much energy and resources. Right now it's just an illusion, a mask if you will.”

“So I'm not real, I'm not actually alive again.” Sara looked down at her feet in thought. 

“Yes, were you not paying attention when I just explained all of that.” The demon replied in an annoyed tone as it examined its purple claws. “It's hard enough as it is without you trying to mess it up.”

“Mess it up? Why would I want to sabotage myself?”

“Good point…” the desire demon tapped a claw on its chin. “If they find out you're a soul the deal could end up being off. So never mind, keep trying to get yourself killed.”

“I don't understand.” Sara was not following. 

“You're a slow one aren't you.” The demon let out an exasperated breath. “First you almost drown and then you get kicked by a horse. Those things could have killed a normal person but you're a soul, you're already dead so you can't die again. I can only make you seem so real, I can't kill you again. So, if you ‘die’ you'll just phase out of the living world and back into the fade.”

“So that's what that flickering was.” Sara finally understood exactly what the demon was trying to tell her. 

“Exactly, I'm glad we're all finally on the same page. Now run along to your other dreams, I'm busy.” She was waved away by the demon's hand and promptly woke up back in her bed.

She sat in bed and thought about what the demon had told her. She knew she couldn't go back to sleep after that, not right away at least, so she decided to take a walk. It was a clear night and Haven was quiet as everyone else had gone to bed. She walked along the empty paths until she came to the gate. She decided to walk around outside the walls as she liked the look of the frozen lake at night. 

As she walked down towards the water she realized someone was on the training field. She slowly walked closer and closer to the figure. She couldn't tell who it was because I was dark out and they were facing away from her. 

As she took another step closer the snow crunched loudly beneath her boot. The sound caused the figure to whip around at lightning speed and soon she found the sharp tip of a sword pointing at her throat. She looked down her nose at the sword and the moonlight reflecting off its shiny metal surface. Her hands went up submissively as she jerked away from the sharp edge. Her wide terrified eyes wavered as they followed the arm holding the sword back up to the wielder. Her blue-gray eyes met the Commanders piercing gaze. When he realized who it was his sword arm quickly relaxed and he pulled the sharp tip away from her. 

“Maker’s breath Faerdhin!” He stuck his sword in the snow as he ran a hand through his hair. “I- I didn't hurt you, did I?” He asked as he stepped closer and placed his hand on her shoulder. She shook her head and gave him a reassuring smile, he hadn't even grazed her. “Good,” he looked relieved. “What are you doing out here at this time of night?” He asked as he left her to grab his sword and sheath it. 

He wasn't wearing his usual armor and cloak instead he was just clothed in a plain shirt and breeches. Despite the winter weather he didn't seem to be cold. He sheathed his sword and then turned back to her with both of his hands resting on the butt of it. Sara bit her lip in thought, she tried to sign dream to him but he didn't understand. She suddenly got an idea and mentally kicked herself for not thinking of it earlier. She stepped toward him and motioned to his hand. He quirked a brow at her but made no objections as he offered her the hand she had motioned to.

She smiled up at him and timidly took his much larger hand in hers. His hand was warm and calloused and she gently held it in her own. Her stomach was aflutter at the touch and she took a deep breath to still her nerves. It wasn't like they were holding hands, she was just trying to communicate with him. She made sure he could see what she was doing and then she took her finger and started writing letters in his palm. 

“D-r-e-a-m,” he looked up at her, “Oh, you had a bad dream?” She nodded, even though she wouldn't have called it a “bad” dream. She held her hands up in question and then pointed to him. “Why am I here?” He shifted like he was slightly uncomfortable “A bad dream as well.” He sighed and looked off into the distance. The haunting look in his eyes made Sara uneasy. He shook his head slightly, “Are you hungry, or thirsty? I happen to know where Flissa keeps the spare key to the tavern.” He leaned toward her and held his hand up to his mouth as he whispered, “It's under one of the barrels to the left of the door.” She glanced at him and he shrugged, “I know for Commander reasons.” Sara smiled as she nodded.

He walked through the snow in front of her and she followed after him. She was lagging behind because she was stepping into his bootprints and since his legs were much longer than her own it was a stretch- quite literally- for her to step from print to print. At one point before they reached the gates of the town he looked back to make sure she was still following him. Her eyes were focused on the ground as she reached for the next bootprint. She looked up and her eyes met his as he looked up from watching her feet as well. She kind of curled in on herself under his gaze, she was a little embarrassed to be caught acting like such a child but it was fun and the snow was deep enough to the point where it made it hard for her to walk quickly through it. A small smile pulled at his lips and he didn't say anything as he turned back around to continue their trek back to the gates. Sara did notice however that his bootprints got closer and closer together as he took shorter steps. She smiled to herself as she continued to walk in his footprints.

When they reached the tavern he retrieved the spare key from under one of the barrels and held the door open for her as she walked in. The room was dark but they both lit the candles to quickly light the space. He walked behind the counter to retrieve two glasses and soon had them both filled with ale. He placed one in front of Sara and then sat down next to her at the bar with his own glass.

“I don't drink like this usually but I figured since it's been rough lately maybe we could both use a drink, especially after the day you had.” He clinked his glass against hers and took a sip. “You sure you're ok?” he asked after a moment. She nodded as she took another sip of her drink. “That's surprising, you're just so slight and a horse's kick is powerful. I was at least expecting some broken ribs or something.”

Sara swallowed a little nervously. He had a point if she was a normal person she probably would have sustained some sort of injury. However, she had nothing to show for her encounter with the horse, not even a scratch. Now that she thought about it, it did seem a little suspicious. She didn't think the Commander would really suspect anything from it but she was afraid of what Solas might think if he ever found out. 

“Faerdhin?” she looked over as the Commander said her name. She had been deep in thought and it must have shown. He looked at her thoughtfully, “Sometimes I wish I could hear what you're thinking. I'm sure you can't communicate everything you want to effectively.” Sara frowned and quickly rubbed a fist over her chest in apology. “No, that wasn't a complaint. I'm just saying it must be hard for you, or at least frustrating. Since you have to play charades anytime you want to say something.” She smiled at his analogy and shrugged, it was difficult, especially since she was used to having a voice. “I'm sure you would be a good conversationalist. Even without a voice, you're more enjoyable to talk to than most of the people here. It helps that you're a good listener.” he smiled at her and she smiled back. “Someday I would like to get to know more about you. You're kind of a mystery at the moment. Eredil doesn't even know where you came from and her account of finding you in the woods isn't much to go on.” She cocked her head at him, “I know it's difficult without a voice but you could always write an autobiography.” Sara let out a silent laugh at his suggestion and he chuckled with her. 

Once they had both finished their drinks the Commander collected their glasses and placed them with the other dirty dishes that hadn't been taken to be washed yet. He pushed their stools in and Sara helped him blow out all of the candles. Once they had left he closed the door securely behind them and locked it with the spare key before putting it back where he found it.

“You should really try to get more sleep so I will bid you a good night and let you head back to your cabin to do that.” She waved as he left her to go back to his own tent. Sara turned to head to her cabin and smiled to herself, things were definitely going well. As long as she didn't blow her disguise she might be able to pull this off, hopefully, Solas wouldn't turn out to be too big of a problem.


	12. Chapter 12

Sara passed a group of hunters and soldiers on the paths of Haven. Among them was Eredil who waved at her with a smile as she passed. Sara waved back as she moved around the group. She was headed to the stables for the morning.

As she walked out of Haven’s gates and turned toward the stables she stopped in her tracks. Standing next to a tent talking to a soldier was a large man with horns. Her mouth fell open as she stared at him. She knew it was impolite but she had never seen anyone like him. He was huge, tall and bulking. He let out a bellowing laugh as the man he had been talking to walked away.

Sara tried to sneak around him but that was hard when there was nothing to hide behind between him and the stables. He scared her. She began to walk by him slowly while keeping an eye on him. She kept glancing sideways in his direction as she crept around him.

“Hello, Elfy!” Sara froze.

She slowly turned to glance at him and he was staring right back. He gave her a smile but Sara wasn't around anymore to see it. She turned and fast walked through the snow, which was a difficult feat. She went to the nearest source of safety, the Commander. When she reached him she walked around to the far side of him and used him to hide from the bull man. He was in the middle of addressing a scout and didn't notice her sudden appearance at first.

“Yes ser,” the scout saluted and then took the missive he had been given and left the field.

The Commander watched him go and almost overlooked Sara. He did a double take before giving her an odd look.

“Hello Faerdhin, um… what are you doing? Not that I don't like this surprise visit but…”

Sara looked up at him and moved closer. For a second he looked like he wanted to take a step back as she moved closer, but he didn't. She heard him suck in a breath and he suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. She looked up at him through her lashes and frowned. Then she peeked around him. He followed her eyes and looked back at her as she pointed to the giant man.

“Are you hiding? From him?” He pointed to the man with horns. Sara nodded and moved to stay behind him as he turned. He relaxed and chuckled a little as he watched her. “You're afraid of him, aren't you? So you came to hide behind me?” She nodded again as she continued to watch the bull man. He looked at her thoughtfully, “Because you know I would protect you.” She glanced up at the sound of the soft tone he had taken. She met his eyes and nodded shyly. He smiled reassuringly at her, “Well, that's the Iron Bull, he's a Qunari. I take it you've never seen one before?” She shook her head no, “you have nothing to worry about.” He put his hand on her back and made her come out from behind him. “He's harmless really… well, he's mostly harmless. He likes to flirt and you're lucky you're not a redhead but other than that you're not in any danger. I'll introduce you.”

Sara pulled back a little but the Commander was persistent. She let him practically push her over to where the Iron Bull was standing. He was watching something by the barn so he didn't see them approach. As they got closer he suddenly turned to look at them.

“Cullen, and…” he leaned to look around the Commander to where Sara was still trying to hide. “Elfy.”

“Bull, this is Faerdhin.” He pushed her out in front of him a little. “She's a mute Dalsih elf, she's pretty new here just like you.”

“Cullen, what is this a welcome gift? You bring me a pretty little Dalish elf to play with.” Sara blushed at his words. He leaned toward her and chuckled, “And her ears turn pink.” Cullen started to say something but suddenly the Iron Bull reached out and wrapped a massive arm around her shoulders. “So, Elfy-”

“Ahem,” he was cut off as Cullen cleared his throat.

The Bull looked over at him, “Oh,” he released her. “Sorry Cullen I didn't realize-”

“It's not that,” the Commander quickly interjected. “It's just that she was already afraid of you, to begin with, you really don't need to frighten her any further. I only brought her over here to introduce her so she won't come to hide behind me again the next time she sees you.”

“Oh,” Bull looked at Sara “Well, you have nothing to worry about I don't bite too hard and only after we've agreed on a safe word.” he gave her a wink.

Sara pulled back from him slightly and scrunched her face at his comment. The Iron Bull chuckled while the Commander let out an exasperated sigh. Suddenly, he grabbed her hand and began to drag her away from the large Qunari who was still looking at her with a suggestive grin on his face.

“Thank you for that Bull,” Cullen said sarcastically.

“Anytime Commander,” Bull called back, though his eyes were still fixed on Sara. “And anytime to you too Elfy.”

She turned away from him as she was pulled behind the Commander, who still had a tight grip on her hand. The last thing she heard was Bull’s rumbling laugh that echoed across the field. The Commander walked her into the barn before he finally stopped.

“Sorry about that, like I said he’s a flirt, and it doesn't help that you're… um…” he trailed off as his eyes dropped to the ground and his hand reached for the back of his neck. Sara watched as his eyes locked onto something and he froze. Suddenly, he pulled away from her and took a step back. He had still been holding her hand and must have just noticed as he immediately released his grip on her and turned a light shade of crimson. “S-sorry… I-ah, um…” his eyes were still fixed on the ground and his hand was now rubbing nervously over the back of his neck.

Sara smiled and laughed to herself. It was funny to see such a strong and usually calm, cool and collected man flustered. He was especially cute when he blushed. She took half a step toward him as she tried to catch his gaze. He shyly looked up at her with an uncomfortable smile on his face. She smiled back at him and thanked him for introducing her to the Qunari.

“You're welcome,” he turned to leave, “Good evening.”

Sara watched him walk out of the barn as she laughed silently, it was still early in the morning. She shook her head as she picked up a nearby broom and began sweeping the barn. The horses were all finally settled in from their arrival from the Hinterlands. Her job had become less hectic and more mundane, which she was thankful for. Although she could have asked for a more exciting job at least it wasn't dangerous like many of the other jobs in the Inquisition. She knew Eredil was for now only a hunter but there had been talk of recruiting her into the army as well. The Commander had noticed her skill with a bow and Aeneth had informed Eredil of his request. Apparently, he had submitted a formal request to the Herald about her friend's abilities and how he saw her fitting into the army.

Sara wasn't pleased about the request. She knew Eredil was a flirt and had a thing for big strong shemlen as she called humans. She also knew she was very pretty and very good at what she did. She had heard the two female elves talking about the Commander and knew that if Eredil was officially a part of the army she would have much more access to him. Sara knew she had no formal claim on the man or his affections but she couldn't help feeling protective. She knew she would be jealous if anything happened between the two of them. She wouldn't be surprised however if the Commander didn't fall for the other elf. She didn't seem to be his type and she could see him having a problem with being involved with someone under his command.

As Sara moved to the other end of the barn to sweep she could hear talking outside the far door. It sounded like the new man Aeneth had brought back from the Hinterlands, the one they called a Warden. She didn't know what that title meant but the other people of the Inquisition seemed to have a high respect for the man. The other voice she heard was a familiar female voice and she almost rolled her eyes at the sound of it. Of course, Eredil had found time to get to know the newcomer. Sara thought for a moment before deciding to interrupt their little conversation. Once she had a large pile of dirt and dust she opened the door closest to them and swept the pile outside into the snow.

“Hey! Watch it!” Eredil moved away from the cloud of dust as she looked up. “Oh, Faerdhin,” Sara apologized as she met the other elf’s eyes. “It's ok, you probably didn't know we were here.” Little did she know that Sara had known exactly where they were.

“You know her?” The man at Eredil’s side spoke up.

“Oh, yes this is Faerdhin, she's from my clan as well.”

“You're from clan Lavellan too?” he turned to address Sara who was still standing in the doorway. She nodded, “Well, it's nice to meet you. I’m Blackwall.” he stuck his hand out for her to shake. “You must know the Herald as well then.” she nodded again as she released his hand.

“Sorry, she doesn't speak, she's mute.” Eredil chimed in from the side.

“That's quite alright, she seems to get by just fine.” The man gave her a genuine smile and Sara smiled back. _He seems nice_ , she thought. Eredil tried to say something but Blackwall took a step toward Sara and began to speak to her. “Did you join the Inquisition when Eredil did?” Sara nodded and readjusted her grip on her broom. She didn't mean to actually become a part of their conversation. “Do you work in the barn?” She nodded again, “How do you like it so far?” Why was he taking such an interest in her?

Sara was about to try and answer him but suddenly Eredil grabbed her arm. “Well, I'm sure Faerdhin has to get back to work and so do I. It was nice to meet you Blackwall.” She began to drag Sara back into the barn and she just barely got to wave goodbye to the confused looking man as the door shut behind them. Eredil released her arm and turned to face her. “Way to steal the attention.” she sounded annoyed. Sara apologized quickly, that hadn't actually been her intent. “No, it's fine. I know you didn't mean to.” Her friend sighed, “Luckily there are plenty of more men here, lots of opportunities. Like, have you seen that Qunari out front?” Sara had most definitely seen the Qunari. “I can't wait to get my hands on him.” She smiled to herself as she turned to leave. “See you around.” She called back to Sara as she headed out the barn doors.

Sara sighed, Eredil was so confident and rightfully so. It was so easy for her to get what she wanted. All she had to do was put her mind to it and it seemed she could have any man she pleased. If she set her eyes on the Commander Sara would be more screwed than she already was.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!!

“Faerdhin,”

Sara stopped and turned at the sound of someone calling her name. Solas approached her from the side of one of the cabins she had been walking past. She felt a lump grow in her throat and swallowed nervously. His stormy eyes glinted in the bright morning light, it looked almost as if he could see right through her.

“That's your given name, do you know what it means?” he asked as he continued to walk toward her. Sara shook her head no as she fought the urge to back away from him. “It means silent spirit. I think that's very fitting, don't you?” She felt all of the color drain from her face as he stopped in front of her. “Because that's what you are, just a quiet spirit.” 

Sara looked back into his eyes in fear, she felt like she couldn't look away. His eyes were deeper than they should have been. It was like staring head-on into a storm, scary yet somehow beautiful. Solas was no ordinary elf, she was sure of it. He reached out to touch her but someone broke her trance.

“Easy Chuckles, you're scaring her.” Suddenly, a dwarf wedged his way between them. “Varric Tethras,” he stuck his hand out for her to shake. “I've seen you around but I don't think we've been formally introduced.”

Sara was still eyeing Solas over the dwarf’s head. It took her a moment to pull her gaze away from his icy stare. She met the dwarf’s friendly eyes and shot him a semi-forced smile as she grasped his hand.

“Your names Faerdhin right? She nodded, “That's too long for me,” he tapped his chin in thought “how about Mouse since you're so quiet.” He smiled to himself, “Yeah, Mouse works, what do you think?” Sara smiled and nodded, it was a cute nickname. 

Soon the dwarf had struck up a mostly one-sided conversation with Sara since she couldn't add much in the way of words. He didn't seem to mind however as he could talk enough for the both of them. Once Solas realized that Varric wasn't going away anytime soon he wandered off in another direction.

“Well, that didn't take very long.” The dwarf stated as he watched Solas disappear behind a building. “Don't let him get to you Mouse. He's really all smiles and laughs on the inside, or at least that's what I like to tell people.” He gave her a wink as he walked back toward the center of Haven.

Sara watched him go before letting out a heavy breath. Varric had saved her that time but what about next time? She knew there would be a next time, Solas didn't seem like the type to give up so easily and she was effectively stuck there with him. She wasn't working until the afternoon and she needed to clear her head so she decided to take a walk.

She aimlessly wandered out of Haven and down one of the paths that led away from the small town. She was halfway up the mountain before she realized where she was going. She was headed up the path toward what used to be a Temple, or at least that's what she had picked up from conversations she'd overheard. There was a giant hole in the sky right above where the Temple had been. Apparently, there had been some type of explosion and that was the whole reason the Inquisition had been formed. To try and fix whatever had gone wrong and was throwing Thedas into chaos.

Sara knew she should have turned back when she realized where she was going but curiosity got the better of her. Curiosity had never worked out for her well before but she was already dead, what's the worst that could happen? So, she continued her slow climb up the mountain toward the ruins of the Temple.

The closer she got to the hole in the sky the stranger she felt. She felt as if the hole was trying to suck her in. Like her soul was trying to crawl out of her skin and return to the Fade. It was an uneasy feeling and she tried to ignore it as she pressed on but the closer she got the more intense the feeling became.

Sara stepped into the ruins of the Temple and shuddered. You could barely tell from the scorched earth and broken walls that what had been there before was a beautiful temple. A place that many had once considered sacred ground was now a seared pile of ruble decimated by some unknown malicious force that had left only destruction and death in its wake.

Her eyes soaked in the scene before her as she took a cautious step forward. Something crunched under her foot and she looked down to find a charred corpse who's arm had been crushed beneath her weight. She stepped away from the dead body and skirted around it as she continued forward. 

The farther she walked into the Temple the more bodies she found. They all appeared to be frozen in time. Each corpse was stuck in some position of distress, their deaths being so quick that their bodies didn't even know they were dead. So many innocent lives had been lost in the explosion, no wonder everyone was up in arms about it. What kind of monster could do such a thing?

Sara cautiously approached the inner part of the Temple where the breach originated from. She stopped beneath an archway that had survived the explosion. She steadied herself on the blackened stone next to her. She couldn't go any farther. She didn't exactly know why but she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling inside of her. She knew if she continued deeper into the Temple the hole in the sky would suck her up, possibly quite literally. 

Because she wasn't fully alive, because she was still a soul she was drawn to the Fade. It was where she was supposed to be. Being in the living world was wrong, she had felt that since she had taken her first step into this new world. She had grown accustomed to the feeling but this new feeling was stronger. Being so close to an opening into the Fade was having an effect on her, one she feared might end with her reentering the Fade never to return to the world of the living. The veil was too weak in the Temple, she couldn't stay there. 

She decided it was best if she left the ruins, immediately. She should never have ventured into them in the first place. She turned on her heel and quickly scurried away from the breach, making sure to tiptoe around the corpses. She quickly traveled back down the path toward Haven but as she got closer to the town she decided she wasn't ready to go back just yet. So she took a detour around the lake to the top of the cliff that overlooked the village.

She cleared the snow off the top of a rock with her foot and sat down on the frigid surface. The sun was on her back and there was blue sky in front of her. Despite the cold, it was a nice day and she took a deep breath as she let herself relax. This whole experience was a culture shock to her. Not only was she an elf of all things in a completely new world but she was also alive again. She hadn't really had time to let that sink in. 

She had been dead for what had probably been years, more than she wanted to think about and then out of the blue she had made a deal with a demon and now here she was. Mostly alive and chasing after a man who didn't even know who she really was. In all reality, she was living a lie and even though it was too late to worry about it she wasn't sure she was exactly comfortable with the idea. She figured she should have thought her plan through before making the deal with the demon. 

“Faerdhin! There you are!”

Suddenly a voice filled her ears and interrupted her thoughts. She jerked her head to follow the call and found Eredil racing toward her through the snow. 

“Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you! You missed your shift at the barn.” She sounded relieved but also annoyed. 

Sara's eyes darted from the elf who was now kneeling next to her to the figure that came into view over the edge of the hill. The Commander was trailing behind her friend, obviously the other person Eredil had meant when she said: “we've been looking for you.”

“Have you just been up here this whole time?” Her friend continued, oblivious to the distracting man behind her. 

Sara dragged her eyes away from the Commander to look back at her friend. She signed “sorry” to her and tried to communicate that she had just come up to the ridge to relax. 

“What?” Eredil tilted her head in confusion. 

Sara was about to give up when she remembered the trick she had used with the Commander. She reached for Eredil’s hand but her friend pulled away from her. 

“Let her have your hand.” The Commander chimed in. Obviously, Sara wasn't the only one who remembered what had happened a couple of nights ago. 

Eredil gave Sara her hand and she proceeded to write on it with her finger. “R-E-L-A-X, relax, oh you came up here just to relax?” She nodded, “You couldn't do that within the walls? Where it's safe?” Sara frowned, “Forgive me but it seems foolish for you to come out here just to relax. I know I'm sounding harsh but ever since I found you wandering through the woods I told myself I would take care of you. I just don't want anything to happen to you.” Sara apologized again, she hadn't meant to make anyone worry. Eredil glanced at the sun, “I'm sorry but I have to go, I'm leaving with a group to hunt soon. I've had to switch my hours since I'm training with the troops during the day now. Can you walk her back?” Her question was directed toward the Commander. 

He smiled, “Of course.”

“Thank you,” Eredil sighed in relief before hurrying back toward the village.

The Commander watched her go before turning back toward Sara. “Shall we?” He motioned for her to follow him as he began to slowly walk down the hill. 

Sara stood up out of the snow and ran to catch up with him. He smiled at her as she came to walk next to him. She smiled back before focusing her eyes on the snow in front of her. She felt guilty for making him come all the way out there just to retrieve her.

“Eredil means well but I think she's too protective of you.” Sara glanced over at him at this sudden remark. “She seems to think that just because you're mute you can't take care of yourself. She judges you too harshly, as does the Herald, and you don't seem to judge them at all in return for it. I'm not saying you should I just-” he sighed. “This really isn't any of my business but I just don't think they understand you. I don't think they've taken the time to genuinely get to know you, I think they're too blinded by their opinions. I'm not saying they're bad friends…” he trailed off with another sighed. “I'm not good with words and I hope you don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. Eredil was frantic when she heard you had missed your shift. She came to me and begged me to help her look for you, so she really does care about you. I just don't think you should let them control you so easily, especially Eredil. No matter how well she means you are still your own person, and you're more than capable of making your own decisions. Sara smiled at him, “But you know that.” He smiled back.

The moment was broken when Sara suddenly slipped in the snow. She only slid a short way. Before the Commander managed to grab her arm and steady her. 

“Are you alright?” He asked in concern. 

Sara was about to nod when he suddenly lost his balance as well. She sucked in a breath and the Commander yelped as they both fell into the snow and began to tumble the rest of the way down the snowy hill. All she saw was white as snow flew around them. She finally landed at the bottom with a thump. The air was knocked from her lungs when she hit a hard surface. It took her a moment to realize that she hadn't landed in a snow bank but on top of something… or someone. 

“Faerdhin?” She lifted her head and met the golden eyes of the Commander, whom she was lying on top of. “Are you alright?”  
She blinked a couple of times as she tried to form a coherent thought. Almost her entire body was lying on top of him and the concern in his eyes looked so sweet. 

Finally, she nodded and got up off of him. They both brushed themselves off before glancing up the hill to see how far they had rolled. Sara's body began to shake in a silent laugh and when her eyes met the Commander’s he began to chuckle with her. Ever since she had come to this world she felt like a child, and she was glad the Commander didn't seem to mind joining in the fun with her on occasion. He was certainly more understanding and accepting of it than others. 

He finished walking her to Haven but the second they came into view of the training troops he was swarmed by scouts and soldiers all holding missives or with some important message to give him. Sara lost sight of him within a minute and ended up making her way to the stables to apologize and catch up on her work.


	14. Chapter 14

Sara tucked a piece of golden hair behind her ear, her finger lingering on the pointed tip. It had been months and she still wasn't used to touching her ears and finding them pointed instead of rounded. She focused her eyes back on the saddle in front of her and resumed cleaning the leather with the cloth in her hand. She rubbed the cloth in small circles over the dark brown saddle. The Herald was headed to Val Royeaux and everything needed to look pristine for her first appearance in the capital. At least that was what she had been told. She had been cleaning the Herald’s tackle and horse all morning.

She put the cloth and oil back and picked up the saddle. She had put the rest of the tackle on the horse and the saddle was the last piece. She hoisted the saddle up into her arms which made her stagger. She was slight and the saddle was hard to hold onto. Sara had never done any work like the work she was doing now. She had grown up in a middle-class family and had died too young to have really experienced much in life. Everything that was happening in her reincarnated life now was a new experience, especially since she was in a completely different world that was still in the Middle Ages and had magic.

She slumped the saddle against the side of the horse as she tried to put it on the mare’s back. She was short and the mare was tall. She was struggling but there was no one around to ask for help. She also preferred to be independent. She didn't mind a little problem solving to figure things out herself. So she put the saddle down and dragged a bale of hay over next to the horse. She positioned it close to the side of the horse so she could use it as a stool. She picked the saddle back up and climbed on top of the hay bale.

“That doesn't look safe.”

The sudden voice startled Sara and she stumbled backward off the hay bale. Luckily a firm arm caught her while another grabbed the saddle. Sara let out the breath she had sucked in and looked to the person helping to hold her up. Captain Rylen gave her a smile as he helped to stand her back up and took the saddle from her arms.

“I see you're already falling for me.” He said with a cheeky smile as he kicked the hay out of his way so he could fasten the saddle on the patient mare.

Sara rolled her eyes at his terrible line but couldn't help the small smile that spread across her face. She shook her head and looked at the ground as she tried to hide her smile. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that his line had worked.

“Is that a smile?” He stepped closer and bent slightly to peer at her face. Sara turned away from him even more. “It is a smile!” He was grinning widely. “I knew it.”

Sara finally looked at him still smiling and rolled her eyes again. He looked so triumphant. He unfastened the horse from its hold and handed her the reins.

“I can't believe you, flirting on the job.” He clicked his tongue at her. “You should get back to work before someone catches you.” He started to walk away, “Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.” He threw over his shoulder with a wink.

Sara bit her lip to keep from smiling even more as she watched him walk away. Everyone knew Captain Rylen was a flirt, but why did he always seem to flirt with her? All it took was a couple of seconds in a room with him before she was blushing like a schoolgirl. He seemed to like to watch her squirm and make her ears turn pink. He and the Commander were complete opposites but that just seemed to make their bond stronger. They complimented each other perfectly. She smirked to herself, if she wasn't crunched for time she wouldn't mind having both of them.

She was shaken from her thoughts as the horse shook its head next to her and nearly pulled the reins from her hands. She grabbed a brush off a nearby shelf and led the horse outside. She would brush the horse some more while they waited for the Herald. She found her work with the horses relaxing most of the time so she didn't mind waiting with the mare.

It was cold outside in the snow so Sara wrapped her cloak around her tighter. She stood next to the barn with the horse for a moment and looked around. She didn't see the Herald yet so she pulled the brush from her pocket and began to run it over the horse’s chestnut colored coat. She couldn't hum out loud but she hummed a song in her mind as she moved the brush in long slow strokes down the horse’s neck.

“You look freezing.”

Sara paused at the familiar voice behind her. She turned to look at the Commander who stood in the snow watching her. She stopped brushing the horse and nodded. He walked up next to her and stroked the mare’s nose affectionately.

“You could brush her in the barn, where it's warmer.”

_Thank you captain obvious_ , Sara thought as she shook her head. She tapped her wrist with two fingers to indicate the time and that she was waiting for the Herald. Who should have already been at the barn. The motion was lost on him however because they didn't have wrist watches. He watched the movement before looking at her with a confused expression. Sara let out a heavy breath. Sometimes she really just missed being able to audibly sigh in exasperation. If being mute taught her anything it was patience. She waved a hand at him to dismiss their conversation and reached back into her pocket for the brush. The second the brush came out of her pocket the Commander reached for it.

“At least let me brush her so your hands don't freeze.” Sara didn't loosen her grip on the brush. Why should he have to do her job? He was the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, she was sure brushing horses was below his paygrade. He held onto the brush even though she wasn't releasing it. “It's freezing out here today and I have gloves. I'm always too busy to brush my own horse. I grew up on a farm and I used to care for the horse's as a lad, I miss it. Please.”

At his argument, Sara slowly released her grip on the bush and stepped out of his way. He gave her a smile and began brushing the horse with gentle strokes. Sara stood off to the side and just watched him.

“You've done a good job with the horse and tackle Faerdhin.” He commented after a moment. “I know they were very particular because this is her first time going to the capital as the Herald and representative of the Inquisition. First impressions are important, at least that's what Josephine tells me.” Sara managed to find a way to ask if he was going. “Am I going?” She nodded, “Maker no, I hate nobles, especially Orlesian ones. I'd much rather solve problems with a sword than with words and diplomacy but I'm sure this way is better.”

They were interrupted as the Herald finally made her appearance at the barn with Cassandra, Varric and Blackwall in tow. Josephine and Leliana weren't far behind them. The Commander stepped away from the horse and handed the brush back to her behind his back. Sara took it and put it back into her pocket.

Aeneth walked toward the horse and stroked a hand down its mane. “When are we going to get some good mounts.” Sara frowned, she thought the mare was beautiful.

“These are the best mounts in Ferelden.” The Commander spoke up. “They arrived not long ago from the horse master.”

The Herald sighed, “I miss my halla. They are much better mounts, not as bulky.”

Sara swore she heard a tired sigh come from the Commander who was standing next to her. She glanced over at him but his expression was neutral. She had a feeling however that he and the Herald didn't always see eye to eye.

“Aeneth!” Eredil came sprinting out of Haven’s gate. “You have to take me with you.” She continued once she was closer. “It's so boring here and I really want to see the capital.”

“We’re already bringing one Dalish heretic elf claiming to be the Herald of Andraste herself, I don't think we need another one who is more interested in flirting and sightseeing than actually helping. We are going to the capital on an important mission not to have fun.” Cassandra chided. Sara cringed at her harsh tone, the Commander coughed into his hand to alleviate the silence that followed her statement and both Aeneth and Eredil were staring at her with unhappy expressions. She sighed “But it is ultimately up to the Herald who we bring.” She finished with a grumble.

Aeneth looked back at Eredil. “She's right, we are going there on important business.”

“I'm sure I can help with that,” Eredil replied quickly.

“What exactly can you do to help in diplomacy?” The Herald questioned.

“I can do a lot of things!” Eredil snapped back.

Sara left the conversation at that point. They didn't need her there to argue. She hadn't eaten and had worked in the barn all morning. She was tired and hungry and wasn't in the mood to stand there and listen to them argue like they usually did. They fought like sisters. Her work was done so she decided to head to the tavern to get some food.

The tavern was mostly empty and Sara was happy for the quiet meal. Once she had thanked Flissa she left the tavern to head back to the barn as she still had some cleaning to do. That's when she was intercepted by Solas, her least favorite elf. She just wanted him to leave her alone. At the moment he seemed to be her biggest liability. He was the only one who had hinted at knowing she was different. He hadn't seemed to have figured out how she was different yet and Sara wanted to keep it that way.

He tried to step in her path but Sara sidestepped around him. As she went to move past him he reached out and gently grabbed her arm to stop her. At the touch of his hand images started to flash through Sara's mind. A jumble of years and years of knowledge. He had lived many lifetimes and had many names. The Dread Wolf echoed through her mind. She gasped and jerked away from him. The movement caused her to fall to the ground and she sat there staring up at him with wide eyes. His eyes squinted as he looked at her. He looked almost as startled as she did.

“In all of my years I've never…” he trailed off quietly.

He took a step toward her and reached for her as if to help her up but Sara scurried backward away from him. Her hands dug into the snow and her feet lost traction on the muddy ice-covered ground so she didn't get very far. She didn't want this creature to ever touch her again. He may have looked and acted like an elf but she was now convinced he wasn't what he appeared to be.

“Faerdhin are you alright?” The Commander had come upon them without either of them noticing. Sara couldn't drag her eyes away from Solas to look at him. He knelt down next to her in the snow. “Faerdhin?” He asked in a gentle tone. She kept her eyes fixed on Solas who was still standing in front of her. “What did you do to her?” The Commander directed his accusatory question at the bald elf.

“I did nothing.” He answered in an even tone. He seems to have regained his composure.

The Commander eyed him before turning back to Sara. “Come on, let me help you up.”

He stood in front of her and blocked her view of Solas before offering her his hand. She took it and pulled herself up off the ground with his help. Once she was standing she noticed that Solas had wandered away. She let out a breath of relief and began to clean herself up with the Commanders help.

“Are you alright?” He asked again as he brushed her off. She nodded. “What happened?” Sara could only shrug and shake her head, she had no idea what had just happened. All she knew was that she never wanted Solas to touch her again. “I don't like how he looks at you.” His eyes wandered away from Sara and he looked off in the direction Solas had gone. Sara followed his eyes but Solas was nowhere to be seen.


End file.
